Jokes

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I was Russian to the bathroom where European.

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What is the difference between a tea bag and Spain. A tea bag stays longer in the cup

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I dropped my burger on the floor. Now it's ground beef.

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What do you call a Turkey with a limp?
A gobble with a wobble.

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In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue...........
And in 1495 his luggage and baggage finally arrived.

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Crashed my car the other day while on holiday because of a hidden dip on the road. Can’t believe how much houmous people in Greece leaving lying around.

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May Yammow finds it difficult to introduce herself when holidaying in Spain.

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How do you catch a carpenter squirrel (Definition: a squirrel that likes power tools)?
Go to Home Depot and pretend to be nut-wood.

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Me and my mates were busy robbing this CD store when the cops turned up.
Dave grabbed all the pop CD’s and ran off.
Steve grabbed the rock CD’s and also ran off.
Dan grabbed the Jazz and followed suit.
I was forced to take the rap.

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I used to think I was telepathic with the ability to hear people’s thoughts but today my psychiatrist told me I have schizophrenia.

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Notice on the bulletin board at the wrestling arena:
“There will be a rehearsal for tonight’s bout.”

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What's the longest word in the Spanish language?
Gooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaalllll

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Kickass this if you think there should be a section where you can see where your jokes are instead of browsing to see if it's been accepted

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Two scouts were making a lot of noise on a field trip. The scout master asked them to "please not yell" and to "go find firewood".
One scout turned to the other and said,
"I’ve heard of this before, something about 'talk softly and carry a big stick!'"

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I took the job at a bakery...
Because I kneaded dough!

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I read this book about Mount Everest... It was quite the cliff hanger!

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I'm trying to finish writing a script for a роrnо movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.

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I didn't mean to gain all this weight. It happened by snaccident.

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