In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the еrотiс. Then, the young girl proposes, “If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs.”
The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, “If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I’ll show you my thighs,”.
And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, “If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis.”
All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they’re passing. “See there in the distance. That’s the hospital where I had it done!”
$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not. $ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. $ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. $ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. $ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage. $ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends. $ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. $ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. $ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. $ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a. M. on January 1st. $ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year. $ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon. $ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600. $ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U. S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it? However... $ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today. $$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
$ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
$ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
$ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
$ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
$ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
$ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
$ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
$ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
$ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a. M. on January 1st.
$ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
$ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
$ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
$ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U. S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it? However...
$ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.
$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
A paperboy is doing his monthly round of collecting money from customers. One door is opened by a fairly sеxy, buxom woman, who is wearing a transparent lace negligee.
“Hi Missus I’ve come for the paper money, it’s $5 please.” says our boy, with his hand held out.
“I’m afraid I’ve no money in the house, ” the woman replies in a breathy voice, “but if you come in I’m sure I can think of something. . .”
So our lad goes in and the woman throws herself back on the fireside rug, pulling off the negligee, moaning “You can have ME instead. . .”
The kid sighs, takes off his bag, and then produces a diск that would be more in place on a stud bull. The woman is agog. Our lad then produces a load of big rubber rings from his bag, which he proceeds to stack around his giant кnов.
“What are they for?” asks the woman.
“Oh, they’re just to make sure I don’t go all the way in when I shаg you.” replies the boy.
“To hеll with them! implores the woman, “I’ll take all of you!”
Our lad replies. . .
“Not for five fсuкing dollars you wont!”
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. “Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!”
“Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!”.
“Irving, that emerald necklace you promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money.” Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, “Irving, remember that вlоw job I promised you? Here it comes.
Two New Yorkers are in Las Vegas gambling, and they win two hundred thousand dollars. One man says to the other, “come on let’s go out and paint the town!” “You know.” Says his friend, “I think this money is New York money. This dough is earmarked for the Big Apple, and I think we should go back there to spend it.” “You’re right,” says the first man. “Let’s go out to the airport right now and catch the first plane back.”
“Forget the airport,” says the friend, “let’s just take a limo.” “Forget the limo,” says the first man, and then he yells, “taxi!” A cab pulls up in front of the two men. The friend opens the door and is about to get in when the first man says to him, “Say, where in New York do you live?” “Fifty-ninth Street,” says the friend. The first man then says, “In that case, I had better get in first because I’m getting out at forty-third.”