Pet Jokes

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What is the one place your cat can sit in, but you can’t?
Your lap.

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How many cats can squeeze into a regular sized empty box?
Just one. After that the box isn’t empty anymore.

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If TVs run on electricity and trucks run on gas, what do cats run on?
Their four paws.

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When you arrive home after work, your dog will be extremely happy to see you and will liск your face.
The cat will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

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What did the cat say when she was told the canary is off limits?
You’ve gotta be kitten me.

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Why is it so rare to see a cat doing online shopping?
Because they prefer the cat-alogue.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
Me-ow!

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Have you heard about the cat who climbed the Himalayas?
She was a renowned sher-paw.

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I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you Seen my cat?”
So I called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to Help where I can.

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What kind of dog eats with his ears?
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They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before tucking in.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cheetah?
You get a dog who chases after cars a lot – and actually catches them.

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What an amazing, clever dog we have, darling.
He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!

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How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat when you’re driving?
Invite him to bark in the front seat.

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What is the question a flea often has to ask itself?
Should I walk or take a dog?

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What do you get when you cross a Doberman and a hyena?
No idea, but if it laughs, I join in.

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When is a mom flea happy?
When her whole family has gone to the dogs.

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Life is like a dogsled team.
If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard

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What do you mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike?
My dog doesn’t ride a bike!

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