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Most popular
What has 4,000 eyes and 8,000 legs?
Two thousand dogs.
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What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed?
Quietly go sleep on the sofa.
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What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog eating from your plate?
Seek medical help.
You’ve been seeing too many 250 pound dogs recently.
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What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?
[Don’t know]
OK, in that case I think I’ll mail that letter myself, thank you.
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What do you do when you see a rabid dog?
That depends on whether the dog has seen you, too.
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Why don’t blind people parachute very often?
It makes their guide dogs really uncomfortable.
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“I just found out why dogs drink out of the toilet.
My mother said it's because the water is a lot colder in there.
I'm like, How does my mother know that?”
- Wendy Liebman
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Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a lion?
Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.
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What happens when you cross a rooster, a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle?
You get a Cockerpoodledoo.
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Go on, ask a dog how’s life.
He’ll most likely answer, „Ruff! “
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Do you seek a good laugh?
Draw eyebrows on your dog. It works.
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A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon.
A customer walks up to him and says, “It’s not often that I see a dog drinking bourbon here!”
The dog sniffs, “Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices.”
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A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”
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Why do dogs liск their butts?
Because nobody will do it for them.
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What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a Sаinт Bernard’s?
A dog that bites you and then goes to fetch help.
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A good idea for a sign:
“Salespeople welcome – dog food has become really expensive”
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What do you do when you see a dog eating your dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
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What is the best timekeeper you could wish for?
A watch dog.
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