Play on words | Double meaning jokes

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E.T.
Q: What's E.T. short for?
A: Because he has little legs.

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Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

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Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?
A: They take the psychopath.

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Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.

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Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a реnis and a potato?
A: A dic-tater.

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Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?
A: "Dam."

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Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way.

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Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: His teacher said it was a piece of cake.

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Q: How did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.

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A man phones his wife's doctor and says,
"My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiот!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

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Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A: A very nervous postman.

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Q: Why did the моrоn throw the butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.

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Q: What do you call an Octopus with no legs?
A: A рuss.

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What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.

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Q: Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?
A: He was a party pooper.

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Q: What does a fish use to get high?
A: Seaweed.

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