Play on words | Double meaning jokes

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An Irishman, by the name of O’Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic cubic zirconia diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn’t real. …
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The young lass on learning it wasn’t real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about how cheap he was. …
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‘It was in honour of St. Patrick’s Day, ‘he smiled.
‘I gave you a sham rock.’

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? For drizzle!

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Many people are shocked…when they find out I’m a horrible electrician.

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Channel 4 are making a documentary about a black man producing сосаinе in his bedroom, they’re calling it, “CHOCOLATE & HIS CHARLIE FACTORY.”

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Q: Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? A: No, they do everything on porpoise.

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A cowboy adopted a dachshund...

... So he could get a long little doggie.

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I just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe…
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I couldn’t A-Fjord to live there.

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Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

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Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is.

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Why did the boy go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.

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Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A:
"Odor in the court!"

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Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck.

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Q: What's the most expensive Jewish wine?
A:
"I wanna go to Florida!"

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Q: What's the difference between America and yogurt?
A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

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An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.

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Yo mamma is so fат that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!

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Q: Which state has the most questions?
A: Alaska.

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Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's lingerie in the world?
A: In Africa: there's thousands of Z bras.

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