Potato jokes

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What do you call a potato that’s always looking for a fight?
An agi-tater.

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What do you call a millennial who eats potato сhiрs?
A chipster

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What do you say at a restaurant when they ask whether you want salad or сhiрs?
I’m not taking sides.

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What happened to the potato on a date?
They had so many peelings

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Why shouldn’t you give a zombie mashed potatoes?
Because they’re already a little grave-y.

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What do you call a potato after it’s been chopped up?
A chip.

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What do you call a first aid vehicle made out of potatoes?
A yambulance.

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Why did the sea monster eat twelve boats carrying sacks of potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.

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What do you call a Potato that tells everyone what to do?
A Dictator.

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Did you hear about that potato that had its head chopped off?
It was decap-potatoed.

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What do you get when you put an elephant and a load of potatoes together?
Mashed potatoes!

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Why can’t a farmer keep secrets on her farm?
Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.

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What do you say to a baked potato that’s angry?
Anything you like, just butter it up.

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What’s a spud’s least favourite dance?
The mash potato.

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How do you know a potato is in a bad mood?
When they’re acting salty.

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Why shouldn’t potato be a part of a square meal?
Because It’s a root vegetable

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What’s the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig flying out a catapult?
One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham

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How does a potato win at Street Fighter?
By mashing the kick button.

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