A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
A woman goes to an accountant to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I need to ask a few questions. What is your occupation?"
The woman replies, "I'm a whоrе."
The accountant says, "No, no, no. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman replies, "OK, I'm a рrоsтiтuте."
"No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a рrоsтiтuте?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 c**ks last year."