Thanksgivings jokes

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“Have you ever noticed that you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.” …
(Thanks, George Carlin)

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My son told his teacher the Indians could not possibly have served popcorn to the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving because they didn't have microwave ovens.

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Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.

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Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

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It was Thanksgiving day and the hall bathroom was not working. There was another bathroom off the master bedroom, so the mother asked her pre-teen daughter to put a sign on the hall bathroom door and then close it.
Due to the busyness of all the preparations for the big event, the mother never had the opportunity to even walk by the hallway bathroom until all her guests had left that day. When she finally did pass the hallway bathroom, she saw the sign her young daughter had written and left on the door.
It read:
"Out of odor."

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What do Americans and Putin have in common?
They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

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Why dont Blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because they have nothing to be thankful for after KFC is closed

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I feel bad for eating all the Thanksgiving leftovers that were in the fridge...
But it's hard to quit cold turkey.

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What did the turkey say to the chicken on Thanksgiving?
You're clucky, you're not a turkey.

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It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards.
Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

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I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers
But then I quit cold turkey

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What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving?
Beef with turkey

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because they don't like Turkey

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I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving
... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me

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After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey...
... Easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.

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My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge.
But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.

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What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game?
The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.

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We should start a middle eastern war over Thanksgiving.
That way we can slaughter a Turkey twice.

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