Thanksgivings jokes

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“Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.” – Ambrose Bierce

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We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year.
We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, мurdеr them, and take their land.

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What does Miley Cyrus serve on Thanksgiving?
Twerky.
Compliments of my 6 year old son.

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Since it's so close to Thanksgiving, remember this
Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
Happy Thanksgiving from your friendly, neighborhood Native American!

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If you login to Amazon
And other retailers websites for Thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........
But if you don't login, you'll save 100%

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Thanksgiving joke
What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?
Twerky!
Just kidding...
Drugs. She eats drugs.
- Adam Zopf ‏@adamzopf

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I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.
Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

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A twist on a Thanksgiving classic . . .
Written by my twelve-year-old brother:
April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
Separatists and small pox.

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So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving.
He couldn't quit cold turkey.

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Tasty Tattoo
My girl just got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and Santa Claus on the other.
She wants to show that there *is* something good to eat in between
Thanksgiving and Christmas.

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I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie
But some people say that's irrational...

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A Chinese family's dog ran away one night
... Thanksgiving was ruined.

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What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?
How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

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One my 5 yr old told me: why didn’t my teddy bear get invited to thanksgiving?
He ‘s already stuffed!

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Two men from Texas are having a conversation...
The first man asks the second man "Imagine being in the same room with all of the people you've slept with." The second man responds with "I don't have to imagine, I do that every thanksgiving."

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The cowboys play the redskins this year in thanksgiving day.
Just like the first thanksgiving.

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What ethnic group do cannibals eat on thanksgiving?
Turkish

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On Thanksgiving, in Soviet Russia...
Turkey shoot you!

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