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Tree jokes
Tree jokes
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What did the tree say to the lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
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Why do Christmas trees have trouble sewing?
They can’t stop dropping their needles.
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What was wrong with the tree’s car?
It wooden go.
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The wife and I were walking down the street today and noticed two cats in a tree.
They were both slowly inching their way along a branch toward the tree’s centre. “Look at them.” I whispered to the wife. “There must be a nest up there.”
“Don’t talk like an idiот.” She replied. “Cats don’t live in nests.”
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Поп и шофер
Το αποτέλεσμα
Умряли в един ден един поп и един шофьор
Умерли в один день водитель автобуса и священник.
Пред св. Петър се изправят двама души - шофьор и свещеник.
Перед вратами рая стоят водитель автобуса и священник. К ним выходит Святой Петр:
A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
Поп и шофьор умрели и се явили пред Свети Петър. Още щом видял шофьора
Il y avait dans un village deux hommes qui s'appelaient Jules. L'un était prêtre et l'autre chauffeur de taxi. Le destin voulut que tous deux meurent le même jour. Ils arrivent au ciel et se présentent devant le Seigneur. Jules
Piloten hade inga problem med att komma in i himmelriket. Prästen blev däremot otroligt förvånad och förtretad då han stoppades vid pärleporten. - Men vad nu då? Vad menas med detta
En busschaufför och en präst stod utanför himlens port. Sankte Per kollade i sin dator om båda borde bli insläppta. Till slut fick chauffören komma in. – Men utropade prästen – vet du inte hur han svär och lever om när han kör buss? – Jodå
En präst och en taxi förare dog och de båda kom upp till himlen samtidigt. Sankte Per stod vid pärleporten och väntade på dem. - Följ med mig! Sa sankte Per till taxi föraren. Taxi föraren gjorde som han blev tillsagd och följde med sankte Per till en stor herrgård. Herrgården hade all lyx som...
Un cura y un taxista se mueren y van al cielo. San Pedro los recibe y le dice al cura: - Bueno cura
C'est l'histoire d'un curé et d'un chauffeur de bus qui se retrouvent devant St. Pierre. Le curé est irréprochable alors que le chauffeur roulait si mal qu'il a causé un nombre incalculable...
Een priester sterft en wanneer hij bij de hemelpoort komt
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 'Come with me'
En prest stod ved himmelporten og klagde til St.Peter: Presten: – Hvorfor kan jeg ikke komme inn? Det kom jo nettopp en full buss kjørende inn
İki adam ölür ve cennetin kapısına gelirler. Cennetin kapısında Aziz Peter beklemektedir. Aziz Peter ilk adama sorar: - Hayattayken ne iş yapardın? - Ben rahiptim
Op een dag was er een buschauffeur en een pastoor gestorven. Ze gingen allebij naar petrus om te kijken waar ze heen moesten; de hemel of de hel. De pastoor kwam als laatste aan en zei tegen...
A pap és a buszsofőr egyszerre kopogtatnak a mennyország kapuján. Kijön Szent Péter
Komen een slechte priester en een slechte buschauffeur bij de hemelpoort en samen worden ze naar hun verblijf gebracht. Eerst wordt de chauffeur meegenomen naar zijn kamer. Over de top luxe:...
After a preacher died and went to heaven
Egy taxisofőr és egy pap egyszerre halnak meg
En taxisjåfør kom til Perleporten. St. Peter fant navnet hans i boken sin og ba ham ta med seg en gullstokk og en silkekappe på vei inn i himmelen. Den neste i køen var en prest. St. Peter så...
Um famoso e respeitado padre paulista morre e chega ao céu. Na recepção
Un prete ed un tassista romano muoiono quasi contemporaneamente e si presentano quindi insieme ai cancelli del Paradiso. San Pietro chiede al primo
Un taximetrist moare si ajunge la usa raiului. Sfantul Petru ii da un toiag de aur acestuia si il invita in Rai... Imediat dupa taximetrist ajunge si un preot la usa raiului
Mirė tuo pačiu metu taksistas ir kunigas. Prieina prie dangaus vartų
This Priest dies and goes to Heaven…
When he gets there, he finds he’s being judged at the same time as a taxi driver. Sаinт Peter declares that the priest is going to hеll and the taxi driver is going to heaven.
The priest is outraged and asks how someone as pious as he is going to hеll, and someone like a mere taxi driver could achieve heaven.
“Well,” says Sаinт Peter. “When you were preaching your sermons, you didn’t do that much to increase piety in the world. In fact you put scores of people to sleep in the pews. But this taxi driver? You can’t believe how many people were wide awake, fervently praying as he sped through the streets.”
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