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My wife said she saw a bowtie made from solid mahogany.
She told me she nearly bought it for me but she didn’t think I would wear it.
I replied “Wooden tie?”
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Next time you’re in a fight with your wife, start undrеssing...She will instantly have a headache and fall asleep
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Our se-x therapist told me and my wife to try and have se-x every night, it's nice but we hardly see each other now!!..
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Happy wife, happy life.
Happy husband, suspicious wife.
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Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife & she told me I was right.
"What do I do next?"
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Толкова се гордея победа на жена ми на кучешкият конкурс. И синьото толкова много и ходи...
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Ich auf dem Weg, meine Frau zu fragen, was mit ihr los ist
Аз, отивайки към жена си, за да я попитам какво не и е наред
Mig, på vej ind til konen for at høre hvorfor hun er sur...
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Каквото и да разправят явно цените се вдигат мноооого. Жена ми започна да прави cekc със мен, защото не може да си позволи батерии вече
The cost of living has gotten so high...
My wife has started having sеx with me because she can't afford batteries.
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How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife? You don’t.
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“Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.”
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My wife’s cooking is incredible.
With a silent “cr”.
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My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.
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I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible.
I think she must have given me a cold or something.
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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
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My wife was furious with me today.
I put a stick in a non-stick pan.
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The wife and I were walking down the street today and noticed two cats in a tree.
They were both slowly inching their way along a branch toward the tree’s centre. “Look at them.” I whispered to the wife. “There must be a nest up there.”
“Don’t talk like an idiот.” She replied. “Cats don’t live in nests.”
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Рецепт
La mujer en busca de Arsénico
Arsen aus der Apotheke
Ο Φαρμακοποιός
Δηλητήριο
Влиза мъж в аптека.
Жена влегува во аптека и бара да купи отров.
Жена в аптеката
Ein Mann möchte seine Frau umbringen. Er geht zur Apotheke und verlangt Zyankali. Der Apotheker mustert ihn streng und meint:
Le pharmacien au client:
Аптекаря:
Жена разбрала за изневярата на мъжа си и решава да го отрови с хапчета. Влиза въпросната дама при доктора и казва:
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
- Скажите, у вас есть мышьяк?
Una donna entra in farmacia e chiede:
A woman walks into a pharmacy
Une femme se rend dans une pharmacie et demande de l
Kommt ein Mann in die Apotheke und verlangt 50 Gramm Arsen. Fragt der Verkäufer: "Haben Sie dafür ein Rezept?" "Nein, aber ein Bild von meiner Schwiegermutter..."
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I
Kommt ein Mann in die Apotheke und sagt: „Bitte geben sie mir eine Packung Strychnin.“ Apotheker: „Wofür brauchen Sie das?“ Mann: „Ich will meine Frau ermorden.“ Apotheker: „Das können Sie doch nicht machen.“ Der Mann zieht ein Foto seiner Frau aus der Tasche und zeigt es dem Apotheker....
Przychodzi baba do apteki i mówi do aptekarza, że chce kupić arszenik. - Po co pani arszenik? - pyta aptekarz. - Chcę otruć mojego męża, który mnie zdradza. - Droga pani, nie mogę pani sprzedać arszeniku, aby pani zabiła męża, nawet w przypadku gdy sypia z inną kobietą. Na to kobieta wyciąga...
Een dame wandelt de apotheek binnen en vraagt er wat arsenicum. "Waarvoor hebt u dat nodig, mevrouw?". "Om mijn man te vermoorden..." "Daarvoor mag ik u dat niet verkopen.". De dame haalt uit haar...
Kadının biri, eczaneye dalar ve bir şişe arsenik ister. Eczacı, kadına arsenikle ne yapacağını sorar. Kadın: -Kocamı öldüreceğim! diye cevap verir. Eczacı: -Kusura bakmayın ama size bu sebeple...
Uma mulher entra em uma farmácia e pede ao farmacêutico: - Por favor, gostaria de comprar um vidro de morfina. - Mas, minh asenhora, eu não posso verder este produto assim... Mas pra que é que você...
Ein Mann, der seine Frau umbringen will, geht in die Apotheke und verlangt Zyankali. Der Apotheker: "Tut mir leid, ich kann ihnen das nicht einfach so rausgeben." Der Mann holt ein Bild von seiner...
Uma mulher entra na farmácia e pede ao atendente que lhe traga 10g de cianureto. O rapaz, curioso, pergunta para quê ela precisa dessa substância tão letal. Ao que ela responde com a maior calma do...
Una dama entra a una farmacia y le pide al farmacéutico: - Por favor, quisiera comprar arsénico. Dado que el arsénico es muy tóxico y letal, el farmacéutico quiso saber más datos antes de...
Manden på apoteket: - Jeg vil gerne have lidt arsenik til min svigermor. - Har de recept? - Nej, men jeg har et billede
Una señora entra en una farmacia y le pide al farmacéutico un frasco de arsénico. El doctor dice: - ¡Señora! ¿para qué quiere el arsénico? - Para matar a mi marido, -responde tranquila la señora. -...
Una donna va in farmacia: "mi può dare il veleno più potente che ha" ed il farmacista: "a cosa le serve?" e la donna: "a uccidere mio marito" il farmacista: "non posso" e la donna caccia una foto...
Ei käy, apteekkari sanoi asiakkaalle. - Arsenikin ostoon pitää olla lupa. Pelkkä anopin kuva ei käy.
Apotekeren siger til kunden: - Nej da! Jeg kan ikke bare give dig Arsenik, bare sådan! Jeg skal have en recept, før jeg udleverer det! - Okaj, okaj! Hvad nu hvis jeg viser dig et billede af min...
Egy nő bemegy a gyógyszertárba. - Patikus úr! Olyan mérget szeretnék venni, amivel gyorsan megölhetem a férjemet. - Hogy képzeli asszonyom, én ilyet nem adhatok önnek! Erre az asszony elővesz egy...
A nő bemegy a patikába és mérget kér. A patikus meglepődik: - Asszonyom, miért van szüksége méregre? - Megölöm a férjemet. - Nagyon sajnálom, de nem adhatok el önnek mérget azért, hogy megöljön...
En kvinna kom in på apoteket och ville köpa arsenik. Apotekaren undrade vad hon skulle ha det till. Jo, hon skulle ta livet av sin man... - Men jag kan ju inte sälja arsenik till dig när du ska ta...
En una pequeña farmacia del pueblo entra una señora y dice: - Por favor, quiero comprar arsénico! - No puedo venderle eso. ¿Cuál es su finalidad? - ¡Matar a mi marido! - Mucho peor, para ese fin no...
Een man komt bij de apotheker en hij vraagt wat arsenicum voor zijn schoonmoeder. "heeft u een voorschrift?" zegt de apotheker? "nee, maar wel een foto!"
A patikus így szól a pult előtt álló izgatott férfihez: - Sajnálom, uram! Ahhoz, hogy arzént vegyen, recept is kell, nem elég az anyósa fényképe.
En kvinna kom in på apoteket och ville köpa arsenik. - Vad ska ni ha det till frågade apotekaren? - Jag ska ta livet av min man!!! Apotekaren: - Jag kan inte sälja arsenik för att ni ska döda eran...
Nainen käveli apteekkiin ja pyysi miesapteekkarilta syanidia ja nopeasti. Myyjä luonnollisesti huolestui moisesta pyynnöstä ja kysyi: - ”Miksi ihmeessä te tarvitsette syanidia?” Nainen selitti,...
Aptiekā. - Cienījamais, lai iegādātos indi, nepieciešama recepte! - Ar sievas mātes fotogrāfiju nepietiks?!
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The...
Egy asszony bemegy a patikába, és ciánt kér. Kérdezi tőle a gyógyszerész, hogy mihez kell a cián. A nő őszintén elmondja, hogy a férjét akarja megmérgezni. A patikus felháborodik: - Mit képzel,...
Une femme entre dans une pharmacie et demande de l
Jedna gospođa dođe u ljekarnu i traži arsenik. Ljekarnik: - "Budući se radi o jakom otrovu, moram vas pita za što vam je potreban?" - "Želim otrovati moga muža." - "Žao mi je, ali u tom slučaju vam...
Un homme entre dans une pharmacie. Il demande au pharmacien : - Bonjour, je voudrais du viagra ? - D’accord, vous avez une ordonnance avec vous ? - Non, mais j
C
Uma mulher muito bonita, com um uniforme de doméstica, entra na farmácia. — Eu queria um frasco de cianeto! - pede ao farmacêutico. O homem responde: — Cianeto é um veneno muito forte! A senhora...
Krásná dáma vkročí do lékárny, jde rovnou k magistrovi a hledíc mu přímo do očí klidně říká: "Potřebuji kyanid." Lékárník se ptá: " Na co proboha potřebujete kyanid?" . Dáma odpoví: "Jdu otrávit...
Příjde pán do lékárny pro cyankáli. Lékárník ale povídá,že tento jed není volně prodejný. Pán sáhne do kapsy a ukáže fotku tchýně. Lékárník na to: "To měl pán říct,že má recept!"
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist,
“May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?”
She is shocked.
“Why would you want something like that?”
The man calmly tells her,
“I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover.”
The pharmacist is now horrified.
She said,
“I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and мurdеr!”
At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sеx with the pharmacist’s husband. She examines it then looks up at him.
“Oh. I didn’t know you had a prescription.”
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