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Next time you’re in a fight with your wife, start undrеssing...She will instantly have a headache and fall asleep
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Our se-x therapist told me and my wife to try and have se-x every night, it's nice but we hardly see each other now!!..
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How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife? You don’t.
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“Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.”
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My wife’s cooking is incredible.
With a silent “cr”.
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My wife left me because of my depression.
Which cheered me right up.
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My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.
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I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible.
I think she must have given me a cold or something.
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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
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My wife was furious with me today.
I put a stick in a non-stick pan.
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The wife and I were walking down the street today and noticed two cats in a tree.
They were both slowly inching their way along a branch toward the tree’s centre. “Look at them.” I whispered to the wife. “There must be a nest up there.”
“Don’t talk like an idiот.” She replied. “Cats don’t live in nests.”
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