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Why would no bank ever give Santa a loan?
Because all his accounts are frozen.

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Christmas Jokes

What’s the price of Santa's sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.

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Christmas Jokes

What would you call an elf who is an excellent swimmer?
An elfin.

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Christmas Jokes

Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes in Christmas wrapping paper. When your child misbehaves, toss one into the fire.

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Christmas Jokes

How do we know Santa is a man?
No woman with an ounce of dignity would wear the same outfit for so many years running.

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Christmas Jokes

Never fight Santa Claus. He has a black belt.

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Christmas Jokes

Why do spies rarely enjoy the Christmas holidays?
They hate giving away their presence.

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Christmas Jokes

Where does Santa send the elves‘ wages?
To the snow bank.

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Christmas Jokes

Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas.
Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.

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Christmas Jokes

Fox News reported news of an unidentified flying object on Christmas Eve.
It was a U-F-hо-hо-hо.

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Christmas Jokes

Why should you never mess with Santa?
Because he’s got a black belt.

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Christmas Jokes

Where would Santa hide gifts for his elves?
In his clauset.

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Christmas Jokes

Isn't it embarrassing how Santa ends up having the same wrapping paper like your mum and dad.

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Christmas Jokes

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps.
What is invisible and does NOT smell like milk and cookies? Santa’s farts.

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Christmas Jokes

I get all kinds of weird looks at the gym. Can’t they
Bring their own pizza?

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Dad Jokes

What does an elderly Mexican have?
Señority

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Mexican jokes

What do you call a top-ranking Mexican dude that oversees everything?
Señor Manager

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Mexican jokes

Why don't Mexican seagulls like Trump?
Because, they're illeagulls.

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Mexican jokes