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Two penguins meet. One says, “Jesus it is cold today."
The other hisses, “Shut up. Penguins can’t talk.”

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Dad Jokes

Two cows meet, one says,
"Mooooo!"
The other one is offended, "Hey, I just wanted to say that!"

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Dad Jokes

I don’t know why people have a problem with wigs. It’s a look anybody can pull off!

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Dad Jokes

I wanted to wear my camouflage jeans today but I just couldn’t find them.

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Dad Jokes

Not even orcas dare attack an octopus.
It’s too well armed.

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Dad Jokes

Did you know that UPS and Fedex are going into a merger? They will be called Fed-Ups now.

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Dad Jokes

A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.

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Dad Jokes

Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?
I hug my wife and children.

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Dad Jokes

"What is a bunny without a carrot?"
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"Hungry!"

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Dad Jokes

They are testing a revolutionary new blender, but they’re getting mixed results.

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Dad Jokes

How much longer is the Amazonas compared to the Nile?
[Don't know]
By 4 letters.

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Dad Jokes

What do you do when the phone rings and you get a private caller?
Don't answer that. Pick up for ranks Lieutenant and higher only.

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Military Jokes | Dad Jokes

Two walls arrange a date – “Let's meet at the corner.”

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Dad Jokes

Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.

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Dad Jokes

Do you have a car – but no gas money?
Just fаrт in your wallet! Tadaaa – gas money!

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Dad Jokes

Did you know that there’s not a single canary on Canary Islands?
And did you know that the same holds for the Virgin Islands?
Really, not a single canary.

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Dad Jokes

My doctor recommended that I eat more at Burger King.
What else could he mean when he told me I should eat less McDonald’s?

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Dad Jokes

How do you make holy water? Freeze it into ice, then drill in some holes.

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Dad Jokes