Attitude Jokes

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I'm just a burned out bulb on the billboard of life.

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Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.

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A genius lives in every one of us. Each day more and more heavily…

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Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

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I would tell a swimming joke, but I think it's too watered-down to be funny.

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I sleep better nакеd…why can't the flight attendant understand this?

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Вееr: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

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Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.

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An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.

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Most guys walk up and stick it in... I stick it in then walk up...

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My hope for you is that you someday find the end of your sentence

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I am right ninety eight percent of the time - who cares about the other three percent.

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I've agreed so much with my wife that my head just starts nodding at the sound of her voice.

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If you're looking for the best time to spill things on yourself, might I suggest wearing a white shirt and right before an interview.

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Nope. Not gonna follow anyone whose name is upside down. I got enough problems.

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I park in the farthest spot possible at the gym for the added benefit of eating my croissan'wich without being judged by people walking by.

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RSVP: ⚪️yes ⚪️no ⚫️yes now but then no later on

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I'm smiling. This should scare you.

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