Attitude Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

0

0

Remember, it's not what you do... it's what you get away with.

0

0

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

0

0

If you want your dreams to be as fascinating to other people as they are to you, don't mention it's a dream until the end of the story.

0

0

I thought reverse psychology was when you made your therapist cry.

0

0

If the fortune has turned her back on you, you can do whatever you want behind her back.

0

0

You're not sure - outrun and make sure.

0

0

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

0

0

I may not be Dairy Queen, baby, but I'll treat you right!

0

0

You don't notice the air, until someone spoils it.

0

0

Autocorrect just changed "I have so much anxiety I can barely breathe" to "I'm fine."

0

0

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

0

0

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

0

0

Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.

0

0

I like to hold hands at the movies... which always seems to startle strangers.

0

0

Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.

0

0

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

0

0

You must be a full moon, coz everytime you are around me, I turn into a beast.

0

0