Attitude Jokes

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You must be a full moon, coz everytime you are around me, I turn into a beast.

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Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. *Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.*

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Do you like the internet? Cause I can put you on there if you come back to my place.

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I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella.

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They say people couldn't have everything because they don't have enough space to put it, I say 'everything' includes a bag with infinite space so I can put everything in easily.

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If you were a pole I would dance all over you.

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How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

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My drinking team has a bowling problem.

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If you're going through Неll, keep going.

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Coldplay is like depression you can hear.

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Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years.

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I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them.

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Everything is rightly confused.

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Appreciate how some people don't come out of ATM till they find the meaning of life right there.

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You can't be a real country unless you have a ВЕЕR and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a ВЕЕR.

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I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.

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With my luck I'll probably be reincarnated as me.

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I'm tired of people assuming I've got a good personality because I'm ugly.

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