The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
“People need me for my excellent medicine!” and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,
“People are in need of my great knowledge!” and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
“You are to young. Take the final parachute and go.” The geek instead says,
“No, there are two parachutes left, the ‘smart’ one took my backpack.”
A newspaper reporter went to interview an old man who was the last person in the county to have lived through the Civil War. Thinking he had a story, the reporter started asking some questions. "Sir, you have lived through the civil war and two world wars. You have seen the invention of the automobile and the airplane. In all of your days, what would you say is the single most interesting thing you have seen in all of your days?"
The man replied, "The Thermos."
Puzzled, the reporter asked,
"Why?"
"Well," the old man responded, "when you put something hot in it, it keeps it hot. When you put something cold in it, it keeps it cold... HOW DOES IT KNOW?"
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or Reported:
1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant Crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached Cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for Your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight Attendants."
2. On landing the stewardess said,
"There may be 50 ways to leave Your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."
3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella.
Whoa!"
4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please Take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a Landing like that, sure as hеll everything has shifted."
5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will Descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull It over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, Secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with More than one small child, pick your favorite."