Banana jokes

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Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
Weird. I can’t remember ever eating a monkey.

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How do monkeys stay safe when they walk down the stairs?
They hold on to the banana-ister.

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“I am going bananas!”
That’s what I say to my bananas before I leave the house.

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Why was the banana so upset?
Someone mistook him for a plantain!

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Why did the banana have to go to the hair salon?
Because she had split ends.

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What is the easiest way to make a banana split?
Cut it in half.

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If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
Slippers!

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What do you call a charismatic banana?
A banana smoothie!

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What kind of school do bananas go to?
Sundae school.

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What do you call solid gold bananas?
A bunch of money.

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A little girl said: “I know how to spell ‘banana’…”
“… I just don’t know when to stop.”

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Why didn’t the banana student go to school?
He told his parents that he wasn’t peeling well.

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What’s yellow and goes 30 miles per hour?
A banana in a washing machine (Ewwwww!)

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What is the hippest kind of fruit?
A bae-nae-nae.

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How can you easily spot an optimist?
An older person buying green bananas.

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What happens when you tell a banana a really funny joke?
They break out into side-splitting laughter!

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Why did the banana fail his driving test?
He kept peeling out.

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One man to another: “Excuse me, you have a banana in your ear!”
The other says: “I can’t hear you, I have a banana in my ear!”

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