Me in the mornings: ok I'll get out of bed in 10 seconds 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,9,9...
So I was visiting my uncle Angus over in scottland, and we got to talking, and he tells me the following
See this bar here lad? I built this bar with me bare hands. I planed the wood, sanded, stained it, nailed it, put me sweat and blood into it. But do they call be Angus the bar-builder? No… See that fence outside? Aye, i built that too. I shaped the wood, dug the holes, measured and planted the posts meself. But do they call be Angus the fence-builder? NO! That boat outside lad, aye, built that meself to! I chopped down the tree’ dried and warped the wood, nailed it and tarred it with me bare hands! But do they call me Angus the boat-builder? no! But you fuск one sheep laddie.
Jeb and Jethro live in the hills, about 5 miles outside of town. Jeb asks Jethro to go in to town to pick up some lumber. Jethro walks the 5 miles to town to the local lumberyard.
"Jeb says we're gonna need some 4 x 2's," Jethro tells the yardman.
"Do you mean 2 x 4's?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb," says Jethro. He walks the 10 miles to the hills and then back to town. "Jeb says we're gonna need 2 x 4's,"
"Now, how long will you need them?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb" says Jethro and yet again walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town. Upon returning Jethro says to the yardman, "Jeb says you better give 'em to us for a while . . . we're gonna build a barn."