Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for £1 million?

Woman: Why Winston, yes I would.
Churchill: What about £10?
Woman: What sort of woman do you think I am?
Churchill: We have already established what sort of woman you are, now we are just negotiating the price.

A woman walked into a gun shop and asked for help in choosing a rifle “It’s for my husband,” she said.

“Okay,” said the sales clerk. “Did he say what caliber he wanted?”
“No he didn’t,” said the woman. “In fact, he doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him yet.”

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $3000. a month in living expenses."

Ever wanted to know why we use ABCDEF to define bra sizes?

A - Appreciable
B - Good
C - Canon
D - Demented
E - Huge
F - False

Women Over 40.

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you................

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

The quickest way to get your husband to fix something,

is to get out his tools and to start the project yourself.

Ladies!!! Stop wasting your time looking for Mr. Right.

Just find the Mr. Left and drag that idiot to the right

Perfect Boyfriend.

Does not drink,
Does not smoke,
Does not cheat,
Does not exsist