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37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday.

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What is red and occasionally explodes in the fruit section?
A pomegranate.

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If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?

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In theory, 747 shouldn’t ever crash, should it?
It should just go ‘Boeing’.

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How to catch a squirrel?
Go in a forest and act nuts.

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I’m getting really claustrophobic in elevators. I’ve had to start taking steps to avoid it.

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I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement. What lies on the ocean bed and is twitching uncontrollably? A nervous wreck.

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I’ve seen this show about beavers last night – best dam documentary I’ve ever seen!”

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I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig…the poem may not be beautiful, but it's certainly very deep.

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Most people have 32 teeth. Some just have 8.
It’s simple метh.

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Robert Crinklethumbknut, international tongue-twister champion, made headlines when he got arrested. The rumor is, he’s getting a really tough sentence.

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Why do mathematicians tend to marry larger women?
Because they like curves.

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What do you call somebody who keeps abandoning their diet plans?
A desserter.

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Your shiт is my daily bread.
Michael, 36, Sewage worker

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Where do cows like to go in their spare time?
In the Muuuuuuseum.

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Velcros are just a big rip-off.

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I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today. He said “Dream on.” I think that was really nice of him.

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Were French fries originally made in France?
Nope, French fries have always been made in Greece!

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