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What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?
Q: What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?
A: Telling your parents you're gаy.

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Why Do Men Float?
Why do men float better than women? Because they're sсuм.

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Why did the city build a graveyard...
Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the street from the retirement home?
A: So all the old people can see there futures!

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In America, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your children are?
In England, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Poland, they say it's 10:00 do you know what time it is?

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Q: What is the most confusing day in West Virginia?
A: Father's Day.

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Yeehaw! The Alabama Lottery!
Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can win $20 dollars every year for the next million years.

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You don't have a mama:
Two dads and a chemisty set don't count.

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Yo momma's so fат, even Dora can't explore her.

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Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, "We cant fix it."

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A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

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You should wear a соndом on your head because if your gunna act like a diск might as well dress like one

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My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

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Teacher: Since you were talking can you solve this problem?
Me: The problem is you and the answer/solution is for you to stay out of my busines.
Teacher : Where is your math homework?
Me: It commited suicide, it had too many problems.

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A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."
The son replied,
"Maybe he has good parents then!"

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If you ever fаrт in public, just yell, "Turbo power!" and walk faster.

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A guy and girl had sеx poem competition.
Guy:
"Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl:
"Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

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Did you hear about the two bald guys who put their heads together? They made an аss out of themselves!

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I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked,
"What the fuск are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sеx with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

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