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Ennie meanie miney mo,
you're nothing but a hое,
you think your cute, you think your classy,
reality check your just тrаshy.
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At a restaurant.
Waiter - "Would you like a table?"
Me - "No, not at all, we came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please.
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Roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty, What the Fu** happened to you?
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So this аsshоlе in a nightclub came up to me and said, "I get 50 times more girls than you do, haha."
I replied, "50 x 0 = 0."
That shut the fuскеr up.
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Yo momma's so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding-dоng. "
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Не можам
Playing Doctor
Ανάλυση ούρων
Αναλύσεις
Εξέταση ούρων
Две момченца седят пред лекарски кабинет.
Две деца стоели в чакалнята в поликлиниката. Едно от тях плачело много силно.
Ein Mann wird bei der Polizeikontrolle angehalten. Polizist:
Катаджия спрял пиян шофор и му казал:
Киро и Иванчо
Bill and Bob
Two children
A man leaves a bar
Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of them was crying
Сидить маленька дівчинка в лікарні й плаче. Підходить до неї хлопчик: — Чому ти плачеш? — Я прийшла робити аналіз крові й мені палець відріжуть. Хлопчик заплакав ще сильніше за дівчинку. — А ти чому плачеш? — запитала дівчинка. — А я прийшов аналіз сечі здавати…
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says
Un conducteur se fait arrêter par la police : - soufflez dans le ballon s'il vous plaît. - je peux pas je suis asmathique. - on va alors vous faire une prise de sang. - je ne peux pas
Toto est dans la salle d'attente de l'infirmerie de l'école
Bir gün temel hastaneye gitmiş doktorun odasına giderken ağlayan bir Adam görmüş. Adama sormuş: - "Niye agliyursin da" Adam cevap vermiş: - "Kan tahlili için geldim parmağımı kestiler onun acısına...
Een man komt uit een caf?stapt zijn auto in en rijdt richting huis. Na 200 meterwordt de man aangehouden door een politieagent. Agent: 'Goedenavond meneer
Toto va chez le médecin et voit une fille qui pleure: - Pourquoi tu pleures. - Parce que je vais faire une analyse de sang. - Tu pleure pour sa? - Mon frêre m'a dit que pour faire une analyse de...
Toto va chez le docteur et vois une fille qui pleure. Toto : "Pourquoi tu pleures ?" La fille : "Parce que je viens faire une analyse de sang." Toto : "C'est pour sa que tu pleures ?" La fille :...
Δυο παιδάκια
A rendőr megállít egy autóst: - Jó napot!Személyi igazolványt és forgalmit kérek! - Odaadja neki az autós
Cop pulls over a man:
"Sir id like you to take this breathalyzer test"
Man: " I cant, i have asthma i might have an attack "
Cop: " then i need to take a blood sample "
Man: " No sir, im a hemophiliac, i might bleed to death "
Cop: " Ok, ill need a рее sample "
Man: " I cant do that either officer, im a diabetic, i might get low blood sugar "
Cop: " Fine, just walk this line "
Man: " I cant "
Cop: " Why? "
Man: " Cause im drunк "
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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really рissеd. She told him:
"Tomorrow morning, I want to see a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
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Η ΜΑΘΗΤΡΙΑ ΣΤΗΝ ΔΑΣΚΑΛΑ
Η τιμωρία.....
- Кажи Иванчо?
Учителката само што влегува на час
Иванчо към учителката:
Little Johnny asks the teacher
Toto se plaint à un ami
Pierino: "Signora maestra si puo' punire uno per una cosa che non ha fatto?".
Un alunno di 5° elementare si alza in piedi non appena entra la maestra e le chiede:
One day a boy came home running while crying.
"Herr Lehrer
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I did not do?" TEACHER:" Of course not." PUPIL: "Good
"Kann man für etwas bestraft werden was man gar nicht gemacht hat?"
C'est une conversation entre une maîtresse d'école et Toto : Toto : - Madame
Sınıfa yeni gelen öğrenci ikinci gün öğretmenine sorar " Öğretmenim insana yapmadığı bir şey için ceza verir misiniz ?" Öğretmeni "olur mu öyle şey evladım neden insana yapmadığı bir şey için ceza...
Ma mère m'a puni pour une chose que je n'ai même pas faite. - Ah oui ! Pour quoi ? - Mes devoirs.
Girl: “Mommy
- Fröken kan man få skäll för något man inte har gjort? - Nej
Det var en pojke som frågade sin fröken: - Fröken
Joãozinho chega para a professora e pergunta: — Professora
Jantje zat in de klas en vroeg aan de meester: "Meester
Hr. lærer
– Frøken
Toto arrive gentillement et dit à sa maitresse: - Est ce qu'on peut punir une personne pour quelque chose qu'il na pas fait madame? - Ho non pas dutout c'est de l'injustice
Na začátku hodiny se přihlásil Pepíček: „Paní učitelko
- Apu
En el colegio: - Señorita profesora
Toto demande à se maîtresse : - Madame ! Est-ce que c'est normal si je suis puni pour quelque chose que je n'ai pas fait ? - Bien sûr que non ! On ne peut pas te punir pour quelque chose que n'as...
Ali o günkü derslerini hazırlamamıştı. Sınıfa öğretmenin girdiğini görünce parmağını kaldırır ve: - Öğretmenim bir insana yapmadığı bir şey için ceza verilir mi? - Verilmez oğlum. - O halde ben...
Eleven till läraren: - Kan man få skäll för något man inte gjort ? Läraren: - Nej. Eleven: - Bra
Jantje vraagt aan de leraar: "Meneer
PepitO le dice a su profesora: Profe usted me castigaria por algo q yo nom ice...?¿ Y la profesora
Llega pepito a donde su maestra: - Maestra
Küçük kız okuldan gelir ve annesine: - Annecim
Student: "would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?"
Teacher: "Of course not."
Student: "Good cause, I didn't do my homework..."
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When your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me again"
Reply... "That's the point"
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Забързан човек спира пред някакъв говедар в полето:
Um homem pergunta para um fazendeiro perto de um grande campo gramado: - Senhor
En man som är sen till tåget tänker gena över en bondes hage
Idzie turysta drogą spotyka Bacę i pyta się: - Baco
Een boer is op zijn grond bezig als ineens een man hem aanspreekt “Mag ik over uw land lopen
V Arizoně se ptá kovboj starého rančera: „Prosím vás
A man asks a farmer near the field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:30 PM train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4 PM one."
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yo mama so sтuрid she put her head in a mailbox and talked we asked her whats she was doing she said shes sending a voicemail
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Yo Momma's so fат she sank the Titanic!
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Roses are red
violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
the middle one for you.
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You're the reason God created the middle finger.
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Are you talking back to me?!
Yes mom, that's how conversations work.
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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
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Yo momma is so ugly that when she walked into Wal-Mart they turned off the security cameras.
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A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your рussy?"
"Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."
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