Jokes Аbout Еurope and European Union
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.
The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral.
"Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said.
The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back.
The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest."
The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away.
"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?"
The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best вiтсh with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's вiтсh."
A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nudе beaches while they were there.
They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him, "The men with really big diскs and the girls with really, really big воовs were both really, really dumb."
When they got to the beach they split up.
Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.
The boy said, ''Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, dumb blonde, and the longer they talked, the dumber he got.''
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks.
The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has.
The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys."
The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000.
Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce.
The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?"
The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
I've seen these before but they're still funny :lol:
What is your date of birth?
July fifteenth.
What year?
Every year.
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This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
Yes.
And in what ways does it affect your memory?
I forget.
You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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All your responses must be оrаl, okay? What school did you go to?
Oral.
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How old is your son - the one living with you.
Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
How long has he lived with you?
Forty-five years.
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What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
And why did that upset you?
My name is Susan.
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Sir, what is your IQ?
Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
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Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
We both do.
Voodoo?
We do.
You do?
Yes, voodoo.
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Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Were you present when your picture was taken?
Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
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Did he кill you?
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How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
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You were there until the time you left, is that true?
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How many times have you committed suicide?
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So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Yes.
And what were you doing at that time?
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She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there any girls?
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You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?
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Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
I went to Europe, sir.
And you took your new wife?
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How was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?
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Can you describe the individual?
He was about medium height and had a beard.
Was this a male, or a female?
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Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
The autopsy started around 8:30 p. M.
And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.