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Вицове за адвокати English Anwaltswitze Chistes y anécdotas de abogado... Анекдоты про адвокатов Blagues d'avocats Barzellette sugli avvocati Ανέκδοτα για δικηγόρους Адвокат Türkçe Анекдоти про суддів і адвокаті... Piadas de advogados Dowcipy o prawnikach Advokatskämt Advocatenmoppen Advokatvittigheder Advokatvitser Lakimiesvitsit Ügyvéd viccek, Ügyvédes viccek... Glume despre avocați Vtipy o právnících Anekdotai apie advokatus Joki par advokātiem Vicevi o odvjetnicima
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Lawyer Jokes

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When I become a lawyer I want to defend a реnguin.
Just so I can say the words “Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.”
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What was the difference between the dead lawyer and the dead cat on the side of the road?
The cat had tire marks before it.
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I will not eat anything that оnce had a soul  . Not a problem he was a Lawyer .
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Just because you did it, doesn't mean you're guilty
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.
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Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.
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At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.
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Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?
Hell was full.
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Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.
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A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
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Прочешлување Адвокат лежи на смъртно легло в болницата. O advogado Den gamle advokat var alvorligt syg Den gamle advokat var meget syg Egy ügyvéd haldoklik a kórházban Visiting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital Egy ügyvéd a kórházban
Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
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What do you call an honest lawyer?
An oxymoron.
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What's the difference between F.Lee Bailey and a generalized joke about Lawyers?
One is boorish rude and insensitive, the other is just a joke!!
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"Minulla on hyviä uutisia ja huonoja uutisia Adwokat do klienta: - Mam dla Pana dobrą i złą wiadomość. Analiza DNA wykazała Adwokat przyszedł na widzenie ze swoim klientem: - Mam dla Pana dwie informacje - dobrą i złą. - To zacznij Pan od złej. - Badania krwi wykazały "I have good news and bad news The attorney tells the accused Адвокатот што го застапува Трпе му вели: - За тебе имам и добра и лоша вест. - Ајде прво лошата. - Крвта што ти ја земаа за анализа Státní zástupce u soudu hovoří k obžalovanému: „Máme pro vás - Van egy rossz
"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the мurdеr scene."
"Dаммiт!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"
"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
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800 Anwälte auf dem Meeresgrund Όλοι στον πάτο! Въпрос: Cosa fanno 20 terroni che cercano di affogarsi?...un buon inizio! O QUE QUER DIZER 1000 ADVOGADOS NO MEIO DO MAR ? r: UM BOM COMEÇO . Cosa fanno cinquanta avvocati incatenati in fondo all'oceano? - Un buon inizio.... Mitä sata asianajajaa tekee keskellä tyyntä valtamertä? - Ei kai sitä kukaan tiedä - Hvad kalder man 1000 advokater på havets bund ? - Hvad kalder man 1000 advokater på havets bund ? - En god begyndelse.
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
A: Won't happen - there are some things even a pig won't do.
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What do you call parachuting lawyers?
Skeet.
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A dying man gives each of his best friends - a lawyer, doctor and clergyman - an envelope containing $25,000 in cash to be placed in his coffin.
A week later the man dies and the friends each place an envelope in the coffin. Several months later, the clergyman confesses that he only put $10,000 in the envelope and sent the rest to a mission in South America.
The doctor confesses that his envelope had only $8,000 because he donated to a medical charity.
The lawyer is outraged, "I am the only one who kept my promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained my own personal check for the entire $25,000."
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