One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him.
“Daddy, the cat died today!”
“Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.”
“But why are his arms and legs up in the air?”
“Well, darling, that’s just something they do.”
She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later.
When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.
“Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary.
A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.
The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!”
Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff.
Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones.
He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton.
The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.
The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!”
Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff.
The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal.
The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie.
The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Вullshiт, come!”
Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff.
Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.
