Play on words | Double meaning jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

“One of my neighbours had half of his large intestine removed,” I said to my mate.
“Did he end up in a coma?” He asked.
“No,” I replied, “But he did end up with a semi-colon.”

0

0

I was admitted to hospital suffering a severe case of sеxuаl frustration but after 48 hours I discharged myself.

0

0

A robber walked into a music store and then everybody got down!

0

0

Why do they call it Аnаl Bleaching ?
Surely it should be called changing your Ring Tone.

0

0

I had a crazy dream last night that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
When I woke up I was, like, 0mg!

0

0

I taught my maths class how to use a protractor, with varying degrees of success.

0

0

The other day I was trying to make a noise with two of my fingers and my thumb, and no matter how much I practiced nothing seemed to work…
Then it clicked

0

0

My ability to speak a bit of Latin is always at the top of my Curriculum Vitae.

0

0

I was chatting with a high-strung flea in the pub. …
…
He says he is so nervous he has to get his sleep in snatches.

0

0

The past, present and future walked into a bar.
It was tense…
Then a wigwam and a tepee walked into the bar and I left quickly.
Things had gotten too tense.

0

0

I went to a party dressed as a loaf of bread.
The birds were all over me.

0

0

Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage……..
I used to shave my privates with one , but I don’t have the ваlls to do that now.

0

0

I turned into a cat earlier.
Don’t ask meow.

0

0

The inventory of the Crossword has died.
He will be buried tomorrow.
Six down and three across.

0

0

Do gun manuals have a “trouble shooting?” section?

0

0

Traffic in every Florida city is crazy! Drivers are maniacs! Saturday afternoon there was a taxi driver who had to pull out to avoid a kid.
….
….
…
He fell off the sofa.

0

0

As I handed my mum her 50th birthday card today. She said,
“One would have done.”

0

0

How do you titillate an ocelot?
….
….
You oscillate its тiт a lot

0

0