Play on words | Double meaning jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

I’m just back from Conspiracy Theory Club.
You won’t believe the first rule.

0

0

Have you heard about the new schizophrenic singing show that’s soon to be on the TV?
The Voices

0

0

Rule number one when it's your first day on the job as a butler...
When your employer tells you to "Draw my bath," DO NOT take out a pencil and a sheet of paper.

0

0

I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, “Not only does my son have a sтuрid name, but he’s also a shiт driver”.

0

0

A giraffe walks into a bar and happily announces, “A round of drinks for everybody!”
…
“The highballs are on me!”

0

0

Just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes using vinyl
Surely that’s some kind of record.

0

0

It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle.
Until one side mysteriously disappeared.

0

0

I went to the barbers today and he asked, “What can I do for you today sir?”
“Cut both short.” I replied.
“Both what?” He asked.
I said, “The hair and the f*cking conversation.”

0

0

Ahhh, that little symbol “*” that we use in some forms of computer searches and always in the ads for new credit cards and new bank accounts. The “*” guides us to the fine print, the disclaimers and the warnings buried in the mouse-sized fine print. …
…
If we read the stuff hidden by the “*,” we would understand why our new, widely advertised $90 cable service costs us $175 every month, or the checking account service fee is $19 per month, every month, or why we qualified for the toaster but not the deluxe outdoor grill. …
…
Some 50 or 60 years ago, somebody coined the term “Nathan Hale” for an “*” by relating it to a pun made from a famous quotation: …
…
“I regret that I have only one asterisk for my country!” …
…
So - mostly in computer geekland - you will occasionally hear an asterisk referred to as a “Nathan Hale” or “Nathan.” Don’t you feel like you are bursting with knowledge now?

0

0

Between tricks, Sapphire is the receptionist at Ruby’s Sporting-House. …
…
She just answered a call then hung up the phone. …
…
Sapphire:
“Ruby, can you cover de phones? I have to go to de john.” …
…
Ruby:
“You knows de rules, Sapphire, we don’t make house calls.”

0

0

Sign in the widow of a Photography Studio:
We can Shoot Your Wife and Frame Your Mother-In-Law, If you want.
We can Hang Them Too.

0

0

Why can't pirates say the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at "C".

0

0

Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.

0

0

“Have I made myself clear?”
Said the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass.

0

0

I was doing a Maths exam yesterday. I looked up to find the lad at the next desk staring at me. I said, “What the fuск’s your problem?”
He said, “The square root of 144.”

0

0

Did you hear about the two robbers who were arrested for stealing a calendar?
They both got six months!

0

0

My wife left me because she said I made a meal out of everything.
I intend to make her eat those words.

0

0

Two cannibals entered a restaurant close to closing time and all that was left on the menu was a man from Prague.
They split the Czech.

0

0