Play on words | Double meaning jokes

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My wife says I’m hopeless at fixing electrical appliances.
Well, she’s in for a shock.

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Some women are real drama queens during РМS - They complain, shout, pout, argue, cry, sulk, call in sick, throw kitchen utensils …
…
I think they are just OVARYacting

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I like my women like I like my ramen noodles …
Hot, cheap, and Asian

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The Inventor of the jug died today.
Tributes have been pouring in.

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I ate some crickets last night.
Gave me the runs.

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I’ve been going through a really rough period at work this week
It’s my own fault for swapping my tampax for sand paper.

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I’ve fallen in love with my tailor.
What can I say, he suits me

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My girlfriend announced she was having her sports car detailed
“I am going to have them wax it too,” she said.
I looked at her nonplussed and said, “I didn’t know Corvettes had a bikini line.”

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I saw a bloke putting up a sign over his store that said “Shoo Shop.”
I went over to tell him that it was spelt wrong.
He told me to fuск off and chased me away.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on shiт punchlines.
The librarian directs him to the correct section.

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I got banned from the secret cooking society…
For spilling the beans.

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I’ve just bought a transparent megaphone.
Now everyone can hear me loud and clear.

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A сunт.
What do you call someone who reads the punchline first and then the rest of the joke?

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If you need a shoulder to cry on...
Just pull off on the side of the road!

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I can’t remember whether I threw a boomerang or not…
It’ll come back to me.

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My mate said he met a рrоsтiтuте who connected a battery charger to his ваlls.
I said, “Fuскing hеll, How much did she charge you?”

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Have you heard about the new pen that writes Under water.
It writes other words too.

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What do you call a muscular Arab?
Protein Sheikh

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