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Question: Do you know why famous entertainment stars do not worry about summer heat?
Answer: because they have fans everywhere.
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I went in HMV earlier and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records.
“Walk this way,” he replied.
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One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey.
ICU baby, shaking that аss.
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Psychologists say that the left half of the brain is responsible for both kleptomania and numeracy.
It’s the taking part that counts.
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What do you call crystal clear urinе?
1080p
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My mate just phoned me to tell me he had changed his name by deed poll to spinal column. “Can I call you back?” I asked.
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Coming up to the anniversary of 9/11 - a reminder, that jokes about this tragedy are plane wrong.
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I arrived at the annual premature еjасulатiоn society.
They said, “Your early sir”?
I replied, “I know, I came on the bus”
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After cribbing about yet another one of my Pranks, I told my girlfriend that she “Can’t take a Joke”
“I let u put your соск in me don’t I” - she replied.
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Some people say putting helium in animals is wrong, I say whatever floats your goat.
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There was a demonstration by homeless people in town today.
They were demanding change.
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The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
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I’m leaving my job at the ship yard to be a contestant on The Apprentice.
I don’t know a lot about the world of business, but I’m good at making sails.
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Everything is easier said than done.
Except for talking, that’s about the same.
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The amount of people that shout “Boo!” to their friends has risen by 85%.
That’s a frightening statistic.
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My mum’s sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shiт.
Auntie Сliмаx.
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Yesterday evening, I had to change a light bulb. A bit later on, I crossed the road and walked into a bar.
My life is one big joke
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Finally, after years of waiting, my book on having sеx with herbs has been published.
Its about fuскing thyme.
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