Redneck jokes

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I love rednecks.
I have a heart of a redneck - in a jar.

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Two rednecks were sitting on their porch one afternoon and looked down at their dog who was licking his diск.
One of the the guys looked at the other and said,
"I wish that I could do that."
The other one then said,
'Don't be sтuрid, man - that dog would bite you!"

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A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to beat off and when he was done he would shoot his load into a coffee can and hide it under the bench. One day his father caught him and told him, "Son, every time you do that you are killing a baby."
The next time the boy went to the barn he was about to shoot his load and reached down to grab his can but a little frog had jumped in. The boy looked in the can saw the frog and said, "Son you're ugly but daddy loves ya."

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How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the сhin!

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A redneck couple gets married and are on their honeymoon. The woman changes into a sеxy outfit and lies on the bed. She looks sheepishly up at her new hubby and whispers, "Please be gentle with me. I'm a virgin."
The man gets up screaming, grabs his trousers and runs home to tell his father.
His father comforts him by saying, "Now, now. It'll be okay, son. If she wasn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours."

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What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
Hey! Watch this...

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What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one room?
A full set of teeth.

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What is a redneck's last words?
Hold my вееr and watch this!

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Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.

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You know you are a Redneck if you use all red lights at Christmas so you can leave them up until Valentines day

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You just might be a redneck if nothing under your Christmas tree is paid for.

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You might be a redneck if, Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

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you know you are a redneck when u got a girl's number at a family reunion

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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says no сrаск and it reminds you to pull your pants up.

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You might be a redneck if your daughter's sweet sixteen is sponsored by Budweiser.

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You might be a redneck if you can move your house with your truck.

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You might be a redneck if you think duct tape is spelled duck tape

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You might be a redneck if you have ever fallen asleep in a waffle house

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