Redneck jokes

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A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!"
Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table.
"There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

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You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

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You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

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Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

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Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sеx?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy соw!"
Man: "Yes, соw, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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Q: What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?
A: They both know how to throw a good hое down.

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What do you call a redneck virgin?
a 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers

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You might be a redneck if...
A policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, "About what?"
You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.
Your neighbor spits grass when he talks.
In the delivery room, your husband says,"That's worse than skinning a deer!"
You have sworn on your mother's grave while she is standing beside you.
You refer to your cousin as "my girlfriend".
You wake up the day after your wedding to find your sister next to you.
You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
You've ever entered yourself in a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" Contest.
Your lips move while reading a stop sign.

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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a соw in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's аss. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a соw.

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Yo' Mama is so redneck, the door mat to her trailer home doubles as a mad flap for her pick up truck.

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Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family?
A: The Sole inвrеd.

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Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?"
"Whada ya win?"
"A million dollars!" said the redneck.
"You get a dollar a year for a million years."
"How much are they each?"
"Ten cents.
Two for a quarter.
Or three for half a dollar!"

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With the rise of self driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time until there's a country song where the guys truck leaves him

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Two rednecks were walking along when they saw a dog licking his ваlls. One said:
- I wish I could do that!
The other said:
- You duмваss he would bite you!

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Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?
There's no dental records and all the DNA matches

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How does a Redneck find his sister in the woods?
Attractive.

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Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?
All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
Edit: made it to the hot page, my dad would be so proud, if only he knew who i was

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When the manager at Home depot speaks fluent redneck. Deer

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