Sick Jokes, Illness Jokes, Death Jokes

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Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
He died a year later.

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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.

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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!

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A cowboy and a rетаrd are sitting at home bored. The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggеrs."
The rетаrd says ," OK ".
When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling. He goes over and starts beating their аssеs.
He stops and looks to see the rетаrd smashing bowling ваlls with a sledgehammer. He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggеrs?"
The rетаrd responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll кill the eggs ."

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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

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A boxer had written on his tombstone:
"You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."

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Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fuскing with you, it was born dead".

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Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can кill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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Ваве when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that аss up one more time!

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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."

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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.

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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died

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Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."

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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

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The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.

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"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.

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Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke.
The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.

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