Sick Jokes, Illness Jokes, Death Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

I bought my Obsessive/Compulsive mate a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
He’s going fuскing nuts trying to hang it straight.

0

0

The inventor of distorted mirrors has died.
His funeral with be held in asymmetry.

0

0

Do you want to see a murderer? Кill someone and look yourself in the mirror.

0

0

My mate Steve lost his arms in a car accident and I really want to be there for him,but fuск it.
He doesn’t even bother picking up the phone.

0

0

I couldn’t believe it when my grandmother died on her 100th birthday.
We were only halfway through the bumps.

0

0

What’s the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm.

0

0

What do you call a group of epileptics in a bowl?
Seizure Salad!

0

0

I was reading about former baseball stars in America, and apparently Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease.
What are the odds?

0

0

The other day I parked in a disabled parking space, at my local supermarket, when a car park attendant approached me explaining that the place I had parked in was strictly for disabled people only.
I told him, “I am disabled, I have Alzheimer’s.”
To which he replied, “Where’s your badge then?”
I replied, “I forgot it.”

0

0

My upstairs neighbour made a groundbreaking discovery last night.
He can’t fly.

0

0

Heading down to the Autopsy Club later. It’s open Mike night.

0

0

I’ll never get a steady job.
My girlfriend has Parkinson’s.

0

0

My next door neighbor in apartment 2G is bulimic. …
…
She was making so much noise last night that I banged on the wall and shouted, “For fuск’s sake, keep it down!”

0

0

My nan is on the front cover of an Alzheimer’s awareness magazine.
Vague.

0

0

My wife felt me because I’m dyslexic..

0

0

The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There’ll be no coffin at his funeral.

0

0

I went to the psychiatrist I said, “I can hear voices.”
“I see,” He replied, “How many?”
“Just the two at the moment.” I replied.
“And can I ask how often you hear these voices?” He asked.
“Whenever you or I speak.” I replied.

0

0

A Roman fighter consumed his wife. He said he was glad 'e ate 'er...

0

0