- Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. - Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the вuтт and a 'Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time' would pretty much do it. - Birth control would come in ale or lager. - Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. - St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month. - Garbage would take itself out. - The only show opposite 'Monday Night Football' would be 'Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.' - Instead of 'вееr-belly,' you'd get 'вееr-biceps.' - Tanks would be far easier to rent. - Two words... 'Ally McNaked.' - When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: 'You know how fast you were going?'You: 'All I know is, I was spilling my вееr all over the place.' Cop :'Nice one, That's $10.00 off'. - People would never talk about how fresh they felt.- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said 'You're #1!'- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. - Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to 'I love you.' - The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. - 'Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night,' would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. - At the end of the workday a whistle would вlоw andyou would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone. - Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards.
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