Attitude Jokes

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If you weigh 99 pounds and eat 1 pound of nachos you will be 1% nachos!

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If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA.

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My five year plan? I don't even have a five minute plan.

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Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

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This may sound arrogant but I think I could make a better Periodic Table.

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Honk all you want, but if I don't eat these donuts at this green light I'll have to share them at home.

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How is education going to make me smarter?

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It is better to have a hole in your hand than a hand in your hole.

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Think Im Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend To Care!

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We are born nакеd, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

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Girl:want to have a good time Guy:sure Girl:for you its free

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I'm having an introvert party and you're all not invited.

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Everything you do you're gonna regret. But if you do nothing - you will not only regret but will also suffer.

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Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?

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Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

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Funny how they say we need to talk when they really mean you need to listen.

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Dance Dance Revolution is an intense game but an even more intense to-do list

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Oh... I didn't tell you... Then It must be none of your business...

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