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I called you're boyfriend gаy so he slapped me with his purse
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Boy- i'm taking the d out of the alphabet
Girl- Why?
Boy- Because i'm putting it in you
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A мidgет bought a book, 'How to make yourself taller.'
She stood on it.
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I used to smoke рот before class. I walked in 10 minutes late with a вullshiт excuse, slunk down at my desk and hoped that nobody asked me any questions.
I was the best teacher EVER.
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*Standing on a high balcony*
Normal person: What a breathtaking view!
Me: I could totaly snipe that guy from here.
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Teacher: How far have you gone with your homework
Lil Johnny: About ten kilometers Sir. I went home and came back with it.
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Мамо Wedding Dress Το νυφικό Момченце държи снимка на младоженци и разпитва майка си: Απορίες ενός μικρού κοριτσιού Защо в деня на сватбата булката е облечена в бяло? A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says Una bimba assiste per la prima volta a un matrimonio: a un certo punto chiede alla madre: El niño Bernardino asiste a su primera boda – Al cabo de un rato Na ślubie Jaś pyta się taty: - Tato Toto passe devant une église avec sa maman W kościele za chwilę ma się odbyć ślub. Młoda para zbliża się powoli do ołtarza. Wśród zebranych gości jest mała dziewczynka No meio de uma cerimônia de casamento Öğretmen derste şunları anlatıyordu: - Düğünlerde gelinler neden beyaz giyer bilir misiniz? Bu onların en mutlu günü olduğu için! Arka sıralardan bir ses yükselir; - Damatların neden siyah elbise... A little boy Juhani oli äidin kanssa häissä. Vihkiseremonian jälkeen hän kysyi: Äiti A családi fényképalbumban Móricka a szülei esküvői képet nézegeti. - Anyu Anne küçük kızına anlatıyordu. "Bak kızım Estaba una señora con su hijito de cinco años en la boda de su sobrina cuando el niño levanta la cabeza y le pregunta: Mami - Mamico Una bambina alla madre nel giorno di un matrimonio: "Mamma perchè la sposa ha il vestito bianco?" E la mamma: "Perchè questo è un giorno felice e importante!" E la bambina: "E perchè lo sposo è... Lilla Elsa är på bröllop för första gången i sitt liv och frågar sin mamma varför bruden är klädd i vitt. - Jo - Mamá Un enfant et sa mère passent devant une église. Un mariage s'y passe. L'enfant demande à sa mère: - Maman - Mamo - Mor? Hvorfor har bruden en hvit kjole på? Moren: - Fordi hvitt symboliserer lykke Мамо 1 mère et 1 fils parle: Fils: Maman pourquoi la mariée porte une robe blanche le jour du mariage? Mère: Car c'est le plus beau jour de sa vie. Fils: Alors pourquoi le marié est habillé en noir? Toto et ses parents assistent à un mariage. Toto demande à sa maman : - Pourquoi la mariée à une robe blanche ? - Car c’est le jour le plus magnifique de sa vie Attending a wedding for the first time Mergaičiukė pirmą kartą vestuvėse: - Mama
*boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*
Boy:
"Mommy?"
Mom:
"What?"
Boy:
"Why is the girl dressed in white?"
Mom:
"Because this is the happiest day of her life."
Boy:
"... so why is the boy dressed in black?"
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Bella: You're pale white and ice cold. I know what you are.
Edward: Say it... Out loud... Say it!
Bella: A Snowman...
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Son:
"Hey Mom"
Mom:
" What?"
Son:
"I like diск"
Mom:
"What?!?!?!?!"
Son:
"Oh im sorry, i mean Rick"
Mom:
"He does have a good diск"
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KickAssHumor. Com: If you like most of the jokes or think that this is a kickass website, then rate this kickass, please, to show how good this website is!
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A little girl was asking her teacher.
Girl:
“Can my mom get pregnant?”
Teacher:
“How old is your mom?”
Girl:
“She’s 40!”
Teacher: Yes, she can.”
Girl:
“Can my sister get pregnant?”
Teacher:
“How old is your sister?”
Girl:
“She’s 18.”
Teacher:
“Yes, she can.”
Girl:
“Can I get pregnant?
Teacher:
“How old are you?”
Girl:
“I’m 12.”
Teacher:
“No you cannot get pregnant.”
A lil boy sitting behind the lil girl said, “I told you we have nothing to worry about.”
The teacher fainted.
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Mummy, I've found a fake hundred.
- How do you know that it is false?
- Because it had three zeros at the end!
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Mom- Hey what does idk and ttly mean?
Son *I don't know* * Talk to you later*. Mom- No one does! I'll go ask your sister.
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Coach: Okay class, today we are going to play a game. When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court. And when I say a color, you run to the left side of the court. got it?
Class: Got it.
Coach: Okay... Ready, set... ORANGE!
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CNN just said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who the fuск does the world owe? Jupiter?
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Fortune cookie:You are what you eat.
Person:Thats funny I dont remember eating a sеxy beast today.
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A person: Why don't Homeless people play baseball? Homless person: Cuz they dont know where home is.
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Devil: Welcome to Неll... you're trapped here for eternity, burning in the flames fueled by your sins.
Me: What's your WiFi password?
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