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My son made the mistake of telling me I was being overdramatic so I just changed the WiFi password.
We'll see who's overdramatic in about 5 minutes.

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While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.
"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Adam," replied the second." My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.
Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Joshua.
"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.

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Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Judge Jokes, Court Jokes, Judiciary | Lawyer Jokes

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."

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Work Jokes, Office Jokes | One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Police, Policemen, Cops and Law Enforcement jokes

I was in in the public restroom. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiот in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

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Wife: I am going to Madrid, what gift do you want?
Husband: One Spanish Girl...
Wife returns from Madrid
Husband: Where is my gift?
Wife: Wait for nine months...

313

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Men-Women jokes | USA

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

313

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Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Dentist jokes

A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac."
He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?"

310

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Money jokes | Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Dirty jokes | Sex Jokes

6-year-old: Do dragons fаrт fire?
Me: I don't know.
6: I thought you went to college

308

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

305

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Money jokes | Men jokes | Government and Government employees jokes | Political Joke

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father,
"Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?"
The father answered immediately,
"I just don't know, son. No male has ever lived that long yet."

291

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirтy, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

287

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Jokes about Women | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Dirty jokes | Friendship Jokes

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

285

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Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !"
Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."

279

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Men-Women jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Men jokes

Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective stupidity was the lack of access to information?
Well ... it wasn't that

276

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I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike...
She gave me the finger.
Then she ran into a cow.
I tried.

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Childhood is when you go to the toilet in the night and then you run back and jump in your bed, glad that the monster under the bed didn’t get you.
Adulthood is when the monster lies in the bed next to you.

268

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

260

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School jokes, Teacher Jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes | One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Dad Jokes

Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sеx with them.
One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!"
The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"

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Religion jokes | God | Dirty jokes | Sex Jokes | Communication Jokes