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Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Men jokes | One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Dad Jokes

I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.

414

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

Girls mature faster than guys because men don't usually develop вrеаsтs until their mid 40's.

406

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Men-Women jokes

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat.
The women just won’t leave him alone.
His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

380

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Jokes about Women | Car and driving jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Men jokes | Mother in law jokes

Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route.
When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch.
Joe happily accepts.
After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some "desert."
Joe happily accepts again.
When they are done, the woman gives him a dollar.
Joe asks what the dollar is all about.
The woman replies: "It was my husband's suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work, he told me 'F**k him, give him a dollar. The lunch was my idea."

375

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Jokes about Women | Work Jokes, Office Jokes | Dirty jokes

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

356

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

My girlfriend is sooo smart!
I called her from my friend's phone and she said
"What's up honey?"
She already knew i am on the other side

353

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Jokes about Women

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said,
"Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."

353

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Work Jokes, Office Jokes | Men jokes | College jokes | Мanagement jokes | Graduation Jokes | Stupid / Dumb Jokes

Teacher: What does your father do?
Little Johnny: Whatever mom says.

352

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How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.

349

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Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!"
Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."

347

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Money jokes | God | Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Customer service jokes | Christian Jokes

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?
"Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

346

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Jokes about Women | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Men jokes | Relationship Jokes | Beauty Jokes

Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.

341

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Sex Jokes

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a вееr and smoking a fат cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

341

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Little Johnny | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes | Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes | Drug Jokes | Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes

If you weigh 100 kilos on Earth, you only weigh 38 kilos on Mars.
YOU are not FАТ.
You are on wrong planet

336

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What's worse than seeing a worm in your apple?
Seeing half a worm!

336

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Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes | Food Jokes | Dark Humor | Animal Jokes

"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.

333

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Jokes about Women | Men jokes | Sex Jokes | Gay Jokes, Lesbian Jokes

- Both of them your Majesty? - And Oprah, too

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England Jokes - British Jokes