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A guy finds an old bottle and rubs it – and suddenly
A genie pops out and announces, “You have 3 wishes, speak your first.”
The guy says, “Hm, I had a very bad encounter with a lawyer last week,
That son of a goat fleeced me like a sheep. Therefore, as my first wish,
I want a world without lawyers!
My second wish is that you make me the richest man in the world. And my
Third…”
The genie interrupts him, “Sorry, sayidi, but you have no more wishes
Left.”
“What?!” exclaims the guy, “but you said I get 3 wishes!”
“Well,” smirks the genie, “sue me.”

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Good jokes

In a psychiatrist’s office:
A man comes in and says,
“Good day to you. I am King Arthur. I demand to Speak with the doctor.”
The nurse says wearily,
“You are not King Arthur, Mr. Crankleberry. Please sit down.”
Mr. Crankleberry exclaims,
“I am! It was God himself who told me I am King Arthur.”
Another patient stands up angrily,
“I certainly did not!”

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Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Nurse jokes | Psychology, Psychotherapy, and psychiatry jokes, Shrinks Jokes | Good jokes

Anita meets her friend Tanya after a long time and
They chat a bit, when Anita asks, “And are you still engaged to Rowley?”
“No, not for a long time,” smiles Tanya.
“Oh thank goodness for that, what a jеrк that guy was! I never got the
Courage to tell you, but I’m pretty certain he was cheating on you with
Greta and Louise!”
“Um…” Tanya continues, “yeah… we got married three years ago.“

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Good jokes

Two skeletons decide to take a vacation in Mexico.
On the way there, one of the skeletons gasps, “Oh no, we have to go
Back! I forgot my tombstone!”
The other skeleton looks at him, “Why would you need your tombstone in
Mexico?”
“Well,” replies the first skeleton, “and how do you plan to cross the
Border without an ID?”

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Good jokes

My wife dared doubt my craftsmanship when I was
Changing the light switch. Haha, she’s in for a shock.

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Good jokes

Is this lactose free?
Yes.
Vegan?
Yes.
No gluten?
None.
Fat free?
Yes, dаммiт it! It’s just water!
With or without gas?
[Sounds of struggle]

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Good jokes

A guy goes to the doctor, “Do you have something
Against a persistent hiccup?”
The doctor gives him a huge slap in the face and says, “Yes. Sorry. This
Is the best treatment.”
The guy holds his cheek and says, “OK, it’s actually my wife who’s got
The issue!

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Good jokes

If you’re ever lost in the nature, you’ll do well to
Have a compass.
It will help you to be lost more north.

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Good jokes

Dentist:
“Oh Lord, I’ve never seen such a huge cavity.
- Cavity.”
Patient:
“Yeah, you don’t have to say it twice.”
Dentist:
“I didn’t. It was an echo.”

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Good jokes

I met a microbiologist the other day.
He was much вiggеr than I expected.

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Good jokes

I was begging God to give me a hot body.
Great. Now I’m enjoying the hot flashes of menopause.

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Old People Jokes

And here’s another lesson in good manners: Throwing the bouquet behind you to see who’s next?
Really poor taste at funerals.

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

Husband:
“Soon we will be married for 10 years. I will get you a nice new car for our anniversary.”
Wife:
“Oh darling. Nothing would please me more!”
And so the husband got her nothing for the anniversary.

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

She:
"Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."
He:
"But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
She:
"True, but I do."

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

“I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.”
“Yeah? Me just once.”
“Oh, but wait, I thought you were single.”
“Ah I see. I thought we were talking about your husband.”

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

My new wife left me because of my huge insecurity problems.
Oh no, hang on, she’s back. She just went to the bathroom!

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

A guy loses his job, all his money has gone, all hope is lost and he’s walking miserably towards the dole line, wondering if there’s anybody who could help him. Suddenly there’s thunder and lightning and a scary, blood-covered demon appears in front of him.
He walks over to the man and in a rasping voice whispers in his ear, “I have heard your pleas. I’m ready to give you a million bucks. But you have to agree to give me your wife.”
“OK,” says the guy, “now where’s the catch?”

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

"If I’d known you were this poor, I’d never have married you."
"Don’t pretend I didn’t warn you! How many times did I tell you that you’re everything I have?"

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes