The husband in a married couple kept farting horribly in bed, for years,
It was terrible. His wife suffered greatly and kept nagging him to do
Something about his indigestion, often saying, “One day, Trevor, your
Horrible farting is going to force your guts right out!”
The husband only made fun of this feeling very macho.
Until one Christmas day the wife was gutting a turkey for Christmas
Dinner and had an idea… She took the intestines out and placed them
Quietly in her sleeping husband’s bed, under the covers.
She couldn’t wait for the husband to wake up – and sure enough, in about
One hour, Trevor, all white and shaky, came down the stairs:
“Mary, by
Golly you were right! That horrible farting did force my guts out! But
With the help of our Lord and these two fingers, I set everything right
Again!”
A ship has been badly damaged in a storm and things
Don’t look good.
The crew assembles on the deck and the captain shouts over the howling
Wind, “Men, it’s bad. The helm is broken off, we have three huge holes,
I really don’t see this beauty making it to the shore. Is there anyone
Among you who knows how to pray?”
Paul steps up and says, “I can, and I will, captain!”
“Excellent, you do that,” shouts the captain. “Now the rest of you put
On your life jackets, we were missing one.”