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My friend talked me into lending her money for plastic surgery. I’ve been trying to get it back for months.
Unfortunately I have no idea what she looks like these days.

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Money jokes | Good jokes

Girl:
"I'm sick and tired of you pretending to be Some detective ace all the time. I think we should split up."
Me:
"Excellent idea. That way we can cover more ground."

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Men-Women jokes | Couple jokes | Good jokes

A couple sits on a sofa. He has foot odor and she has Mouth odor. After a moment of awkward silence, she says,
“Paul, I have To tell you something.”
“No need,” Paul raises his hand,
“it’s OK. I Know you ate my socks.”

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Good jokes

It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska. You have to ask things like “What were you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Math book. The only place where it’s normal to have 21 melons and suddenly eat twelve of them.

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes

Man attempted to hijack a bus full of Japanese tourists. The police has 3756 photos of him.

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Jokes about Police Officers | Jokes about Japanese

What is white and flies up?
A rетаrdеd snowflake

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

I will never forget my dad’s last words:
“Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!”

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Dark Humor | One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Question on Facebook:
“What do you do with the white ball once you drank the mozzarella?”

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

An international football team flies on a charter jet
To their next tournament. It’s quite a long flight and they get bored
And decide, since it’s a charter flight, that they’re going to play some
Football on the plane.
After a while the captain is getting angry with all the yelling and
Bumping and sends his co-pilot to go out there and shut them up.
30 seconds later the co-pilot comes back and the plane is wonderfully
Silent.
“That’s awesome, how did you manage to calm them down this quickly?”
“It was no problem. I just said, ‘Listen, guys, the weather is lovely –
Why don’t you play outside for a while?’”

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Jokes about Pilots | Military Jokes | Aviation Jokes | Good jokes

Where do fish go to chill?
At a sаndваr.

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Good jokes

A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers Properly.
“So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And Then you go at them full blast and eat them.”
“OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right Away?”
“I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all That shiт in their intestines?”

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Dark Humor | Animal Jokes | Good jokes

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his Company for embezzlement of many millions.
At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him:
„Don’t Worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he Didn’t have a penny anymore.

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Lawyer Jokes | Good jokes

The Queen takes the visiting pope for a ride in a
Carriage through London.
Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly. “I am terribly sorry,”
Apologizes the embarrassed Queen.
The pope replies, “Oh don’t worry, if you hadn’t said anything, I’d just
Think it was the horse!”

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Good jokes

Petra comes back from the bathroom in a café where
She was sitting with her friend Nicole.
Nicole says, “Listen, I think your electric toothbrush must have
Switched itself on in your handbag.”
Petra replies, “But I don’t have an electric t… Oh yeah, that darned
Toothbrush!”

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Good jokes

A boy is sitting on a bus and eating one piece of
Chocolate after the other. A man sits down next to him and says:
“Eating
So much chocolate is not healthy for you boy.”
The boy replies:
“My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.”
The man asks:
“You think he became so old because he was eating lots of
Chocolate?”
The boy answers:
“He became so old because he minded his own business.”

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Good jokes

Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really
Cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open.
Husband replies:
“Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the
Edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a
Hammer.”
15 minutes later, the wife texts back:
“Oh no, I think the laptop is now
Totally gone.”

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Good jokes