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Father talks to his 5-year-old son:
“No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

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Dark Humor

Dracula visits his doctor and says, “Doctor, I’m really worried. For a while now, there was no blood in my stool.”

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Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Dark Humor | Vampire jokes

I went fishing for the first time. I learnt that fish can breakdance. Only for 1-2 minutes, but still.

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Dark Humor

Our best first:

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Dark Humor

See also:
New Dark Jokes
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Yo Mama Jokes
|
Redneck Jokes

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Dark Humor

Mrs. Blutwurst is to have quite a tricky operation
And is very nervous about it. Just before she gets her anesthesia, she
Grabs the surgeon by the hand, “Oh doctor, I’m so afraid!”
“Don’t you worry, Mrs. Blutwurst,“ says the doctor, “I did this
Operation 30 times already. It has to work this time.

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Good jokes

That moment when your teacher gets very angry with you because you’ve
Been nervously clicking the ball pen, but you still have to click it one
More time to be able to write.

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Good jokes

“Hey, Karen, how much do you weigh?”
“I’m not telling you!”
“Aw, come on, tell! Give me at least the last three digits!”

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Good jokes

Two sharks are swimming along in the ocean when
They spot a windsurfer.
“Ooh, look, a snack!” cheers up the first one.
The second one nods appreciatively, “And on a nice little plate with a
Napkin, even!”

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Good jokes

Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget
That I exist and only approach me when they need something.

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Good jokes

My boss got really angry with me this morning. He kept shouting and cursing for at least an hour.
After a while my habits kicked in and at one point I said, “You’re right, honey.”

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Good jokes | Jokes about Bosses

The son asks his dad, “Dad, what can I do if I want To live forever?”
Dad replies,
“All you have to do is marry.”
The son is surprised,
“And that will really make me live forever?”
Daddy replies wearily,
“No, but the wish dies.”

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Good jokes

- I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
- You did what?!
- Cookies. I made cookies for you.

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Jokes about Women | Car and driving jokes | Good jokes

I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you Seen my cat?”
So I called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to Help where I can.

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Pet Jokes | Good jokes

Astronaut's last words: ОМG guys, who farted? I have to open the window.

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Space jokes | Fart Jokes | Last Word Jokes | Good jokes

I just like to sleep without clothes on. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.

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Flight attendant jokes | Good jokes

Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this.
Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
Pack it up I said!“

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Waiter Jokes, Waiters Jokes | Good jokes

Funny, those road signs:
"Caution - Watch for Children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?

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Good jokes