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All my friends, we was ready for the second riot.
No, not like the first one, where we were just grabbing stuff at random - it wouldn't be like that. I've got a thousand boxes of Pampers; I don't know what I'm going to do with it. No, no, this time we had a list. We were going to get the stuff we need. Everybody on my block has bought a U-Haul.
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Robot Воотy Call... Stealing:
Although I have not been programmed to break any existing laws, I am a thief and I am here to steal your heart.
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Classic Воотy Call... Ticket:
You must be a parking ticket 'cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
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A.J. Jamal:
You ever go into a store, and they're watching you? Watching you . White people stealing stuff - walking out with couches, refrigerators, TVs - and all we want is a paper.
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Somethimes, I use big words i don't fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis
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You know you're in trouble when...
1. The McDonald's people know you by name from late night study breaks.

2. You have spent more time figuring out that you only need a 54% to pass the final than you have actually spent studying.

3. The college drunк confronts you and says: "Don't you think you should get to work now?"

4. Your study schedule is based on the rationale that you "might" actually die before the test!

5. Your parents inquire about your grades and you sing the Cookie Monster song: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..."

6. Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, b*#%h!"
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I will not be surprised if soon i see "a rаре victim" referred to as "an unwilling sреrм recipient"
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I have mixed drinks about feelings.
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Бъди приятел с глупави хора, чувствай се гений непрекъснато..
Be friend with sтuрid people. Feel like a genius all the time.
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I live for two reasons:
1. I was born
2. I haven't died yet
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Излезе iPhone 6! През октомври излиза iPhone 8 и в резултат цените на сегашния iPhone 7 ще паднат,
iPhone 8 is coming out in October, which means iPhone 7 is going to be cheap and will result in the fall of price in iPhone 6 so that i will finally be able to afford iPhone 5
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Мозъчните клетки идват и си отиват,
Brain cells come and go, but fат cells live forever!
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Dear Girls,
We like you for your brains, not your body.
Sencerely,
Zombies
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Nobody texts faster than a рissеd off female
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Not sure if loud sеx or exorcism
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Един дядо имал голяма ферма в Луизиана. Κροκόδειλοs Некој човек имаја рибник на викендицу, и ед’н слуша некој како се смее куде рибник. Австралійський фермер підійшов до ставка й побачив, що в ньому купаються голі дівчата. Забачивши його, вони закричали: Одному пожилому человеку из Флориды в течении многих лет принадлежала ферма. Een boerke besluit te gaan zwemmen in een meertje op zijn land. Hij neemt een emmer mee, zodat hij op de terugweg wat fruit kan plukken. Als hij het meertje nadert, hoort hij hoge stemmen... Un día un granjero cruza por su plantación con una cubeta a recoger algunas frutas, al llegar al río ve dos chicas bañándose totalmente desnudas. Ellas al verlo se meten en el agua hasta el cuello... Um velho fazendeiro tinha uma enorme fazenda há anos. Na fazenda tinha nos fundos um bonito lago todo bem arrumado com um carra machão à sua margem... Nele havia uma bela churrasqueira, mesas e... Een van de meiden roept: "We komen er niet uit voordat jij weg bent!" De oude man aarzelt niet en roept terug:  "Ik ben niet gekomen om naar jullie te kijken of om jullie uit de vijver te... Egy ausztrál farmer vödörrel a kezében elindul a közeli gyümölcsösébe, az útja egy tavacska mellett visz el. Arra lesz figyelmes, hogy a tóban 3 pucér fiatal leányzó fürdik, a ruháik szétdobálva a...
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all swam to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, - We're not coming out until you leave!
The old man frowned,
- I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim nакеd or make you get out of the pond nакеd. - Holding the bucket up he said,
- I'm just here to feed the alligator.
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Ein Tscheche beim Augenarzt Един поляк във Великобритания отива да изкарва книжка. Полски имигрант в Щатите ще си вади шофьорска книжка. Un ophtalmo installe son client devant un tableau recouvert de lettres de grosseur décroissante. - Pouvez-vous lire ceci ? lui demande-t-il en désignant une ligne ou est inscrit : BRZEMYSLWXIKSI. -... Kommt ein Tscheche zum Augenarzt. Der hält ihm die Buchstabentafel vor, auf der steht C Z W X N Q Y S T A C Z, und fragt ihn: "Können Sie das lesen?" "Lesen?" ruft der Tscheche erstaunt aus, "Ich... Een Tsjech komt bij de oogarts Die wijst op een kaart aan de muur met deze regel: C Z W X N Q S T A C Z "Kunt U dit lezen?" vraagt hij. "Lezen?" vraagt de Tsjech, "ik ken die vent zelfs... Ein Pole kommt zum Augenarzt für einen Führerscheinsehtest. Der Augenarzt lässt den Polen die Buchstabeltafel an der Wand ablesen auf der steht: J A B L C Z Y N S K I Der Augenarzt frägt: Können... Um imigrante polonês está fazendo exame de vista para obter carteira de motorista. O examinador lhe mostra um cartão com as seguintes letras: C Z J W I N O S T A C Z O examinador pergunta: — Você... A Polish man goes to the eye doctor... A Polish man goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters: C z y n q s t a s z The Optometrist asks „Can you read this?” „Read... Egy lengyel bevándorló az USA-ban bemegy az Állami Közlekedési Hivatalba, hogy jogosítványt kérjen. Először szemvizsgálatot végeznek. Mutatnak a pasinak egy táblát, hogy el tudja-e olvasni a rajta... Čehs aiziet pie acu ārsta. Ārsts noliek viņam priekšā tāfeli ar burtiem "C Z W X N Q Y S T A C Z" un jautā: "Vai varat izlasīt?" "Izlasīt?", čehs pārsteigts izsaucas. "O, es taču pazīstu šo puisi!"
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
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In Englland they drive on the left. Where I live, we drive on what's left
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