One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the white house gates. As curiosity got him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing.
As he approached the gates Bill was taken by suprise when he noticed a sign that said, "Democratic Puppies for Sale". Bill approached the boy and says, "What's up son?". To which the little boy replied, " I am selling Democratic Puppies, Would you like to buy one Mr. President?".
"No Thanks", Said the President, "but good luck". He then continued on his morning jog.
Thinking about how cute the puppies had been, Bill went to Hillary and told her about the Demoratic Puppies. THey both laughed about how cute, "Democratic Puppies". So they decided the next morning to go down to the gate to see about purchasing one of the Puppies. Bill and Hillary were glad to see that the little boy with the puppies was still there.
But to their suprise, when they appoached the boy, they saw the sign but this time it stated "Republican Puppies for sale" Bill inquired about the sign stating, "Young man, yesterday when I was here you had a sign up stating that there were Democtratic Puppies for sale. Now today it says Republican Puppies for sale. What's the deal?"
To which the little boy replied, "Yes sir Mr. President, But today they all have their eyes open."
The Clintons took a break and went to Camp David for 10 days. While away, George Stephanapolis cared for the First Parrot. The pet parrot is not public knowledge because it has a fowl mouth. (Yes, that pun was certainly intended). George got irked with it for making fun of him, and accidently killed it in a fit of childish anger. Worried at what he had done, he went to buy another parrot.
He search all of the DC metro area for another parrot that looked like the first one. After two days, he finally found a dead ringer that wasn't dead. Unfortunately, the pet store owner ran a brothel upstairs and would let the parrot sit on the shoulder of the bouncer when he greeted his guests.
Undeterred (and facing a deadline) George paid a high price for the bird and returned to the White House.
When Chelsea got back from Camp David, she said "Hi Polly" to the bird.
The bird said, "Too Young. Too Young."
Hillary said, "Hello Polly" to the bird. It said, "Too old. Too old."
Bill walked in and said, "Hi, Bird." The bird said, "Hi, Bill."
President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hеll.
The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error [they don't have UNIX in hеll, only Windoze].
The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stop to chat.
Pope: Sorry about the mix up. President Clinton: No problem. Pope: Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven. President Clinton: Why's that? Pope: All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary. President Clinton: You're a day late.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, “if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies, “That would be an accident, not a tragedy.” A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, “If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies once again with: “That would be a great loss, not a tragedy.” All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says “If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!” Says Bill Clinton “How do you know?” Matthew says happily, “It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!”