Vulgar jokes

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Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vаginа?
A: A woman.

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Yo mama's so fат when she is having sеx, her partner doesen't know if it's in her вuтт or her воовs.

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A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sеx.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that fаggот-аss shiт in my yard."

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Yo mama breath stanks so bad, instead of using baking soda, it smells like she uses baking аss!

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Why are crippled people always picked on? Because they can't stand up for themselves.

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Yo mama so fат when you have sеx with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

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Yo mama so short when she smokes wееd she can't even get high

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Yo mama so fат you cant tell if she got a реnis or a vаginа.

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Yo mama so dамn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly аss вiтсh".

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Who were the first two black women?
Aunt Jemima and Mother Fuскеr!

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Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: A rooster says, "Соск-a-doodle-doo," and a blonde says, "Any c**k'll do."

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Yo momma is so fат, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

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Yo' Mama is so fат, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

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A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top:
"Oh no, I look like a pig!"
The man nods:
"And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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Three couples are having a picnic.
One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey."
The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar."
Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."

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Knock,Knock,
Who is there?
Pen!
Pen who?
is...

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One day, a guy decides to go ice fishing. He gets out onto the ice and starts making a hole with his ice augur. Suddenly he hears a booming voice say "there's no fish there!"
He looks around startled but doesn't see anyone.
He packs up and moves to another spot and starts working on a new hole.
Again he hears the booming voice "there's no fish there!"
He moves again and starts making a new hole and hears the voice again.
"There's no fish there!" it booms.
He looks up nervously.
"G-G-God? I-I-Is that... you?" he asks.
"No, it's the arena manager. Get the fuск out of here!"

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Before sеx, you help each other get nакеd. After sеx you dress yourself.
Moral of the story: No one helps you once you're fuскеd.

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