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My bicycle’s gone.
Did you have a chain on it?
Yes
Well, then the chain is gone too.
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Bad Jokes
Why are bananas curved?
To fit into the skin, which is curved.
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Bad Jokes
What goes tttthhh?
A snake with a lisp
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Bad Jokes

Police officer:
“Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.”
Driver:
“You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!”
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Car and driving jokes | Jokes about Police Officers
Why are there such huge waiting times in emergency rooms in all hospitals?
Because they’re testing the theory that time heals all wounds.
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Jokes
I burnt 1500 calories yesterday. I left a cake in the oven for too long.
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Jokes
A new boss is appointed in an office, and he has a really fierce reputation.
He’s walking through the office for the first time when he spots a guy just leaning against a doorframe, doing nothing just staring in mid-distance.
The boss decides to show everybody how things are going to be from now on. He approaches the guy and asks him sternly, “What is your monthly salary?”
“2,200,” replies the man, a bit surprised.
The boss whips out his wallet, thrusts 1,800 at the guy and yells, “There’s your two weeks’ pay, now get out of here and never show your face again!”
The guy takes the money and leaves. The boss, feeling good he’s shown everybody how idle hands are dealt with, asks, “So what was that lazy jеrк doing in this place?”
One clerk shrugs, “He just delivered our pizza.”
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Jokes about Bosses
I looked at my crush while I was filling her glass with water. The water overflowed and spilled all over my trousers. She looked at me and asked, “What are you doing?” I said, “For you, I will always give 110 percent…”
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Jokes
What goes through every village, over mountains, crosses rivers and deserts and yet never moves?
A road.
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Jokes
What to do when somebody is trying to start an argument with you? Simply eat a few cookies. They taste very nice and you can’t hear anything over the crunching.
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Jokes
A skeleton walks into a restaurant. After a while the waiter comes and says:
“I’m so sorry, sir. You must have been waiting pretty long.”
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Restaurant Jokes
What did the toilet roll complain about?
"People just keep ripping me off!"
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Jokes

Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?
Because there weren't even any roads during the Jurassic Period!
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Jokes
Paul:
“I’ve got problems with mathematics.”
Michael:
“Me too.”
Eric:
“Yeah, that makes four of us.”
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Jokes
Mommy says to little Johnny, “Why are you sticking out your tongue at the dog? It’s not nice.”
Little Johnny says, “But the dog started it.”
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Jokes about Dogs | Good jokes
“Dad, I got my smarts from you, didn’t I?”
“That’s right my clever boy!”
“Yup, thought so, mom still has hers.”
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Good jokes
When can you be sure a snail is lying to you?
When he says he’s not home.
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Good jokes
At school:
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.
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School Jokes | Little Johnny | Jokes about Dogs
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