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Two tomatoes are walking across a street. One of them gets run over by a truck.
The first tomato looks at the gruesome scene and says:
“Well, life’s not a petting zoo.”

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Anti-Humor Jokes

How do you tell you’ve had two dinosaurs in the fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

A man sees a shooting star.
“Oh, how nice! I can make a wish! I want a woman who knows what she wants!”
The shooting star pauses briefly, then turns around.

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Anti-Humor Jokes

You go early to bed. You sleep for 8 hours. You wake up early. You're considered disciplined.
You go later to bed. You sleep for 8 hours and wake up late – and you're considered lazy. Why?

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Jokes

Why do people duck when it rains? Do they think they will get less wet?

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Jokes

Bones decay very slowly. I'm thinking about all those dinosaurs and that my my baby teeth are still out there.

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Jokes

Isn’t it funny – when you eat a sausage, you digest it and the body makes it again into a sausage.

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Jokes

Accepting all those cookies on websites is extra hard when you’re diabetic.

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Bad Jokes

Job Interviewer, “Why are you wearing jogging pants?”
Man, “This is customary dress code where I come from.”
“Where do you come from?”
“From home.”

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Bad Jokes

What happens when a snowman gets angry?
He’ll be having a meltdown until he’s down to earth again.

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Bad Jokes

My teacher said I should walk a mile in his shoes so
I’d know how hard it is to be a teacher. Now I‘m a mile away and I still
Don’t have any idea what he’s talking about.

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School Jokes | Bad Jokes

I saw you with a new guy. Is it something serious?
No, we do laugh from time to time.

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Bad Jokes

Why do birds fly to warmer climates for the winter?
It’s much easier for them than walking!

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Bad Jokes

My wife told me I'm crazy. That’s just sтuрid! I
Don't even have a wife.

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Bad Jokes

Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as not to smash his head against the tree.

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Bad Jokes

When do you stop at green and go full speed at red?
When you're enjoying a watermelon!

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Bad Jokes

How do you tell a doctor is bad?
He doesn’t have a lot of patience.

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Bad Jokes

Why is soccer so dangerous?
Because of the constant shootings.

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Bad Jokes