Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)

Momster (n):
What happens to mom, after she counts to three...

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I was in in the public restroom. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiот in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

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Wife: I am going to Madrid, what gift do you want?
Husband: One Spanish Girl...
Wife returns from Madrid
Husband: Where is my gift?
Wife: Wait for nine months...

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Men-Women jokes | USA

A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac."
He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?"

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Money jokes | Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Dirty jokes | Sex Jokes

6-year-old: Do dragons fаrт fire?
Me: I don't know.
6: I thought you went to college

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

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Money jokes | Men jokes | Government and Government employees jokes | Political Joke

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father,
"Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?"
The father answered immediately,
"I just don't know, son. No male has ever lived that long yet."

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One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirтy, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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Jokes about Women | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Dirty jokes | Friendship Jokes

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

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What’s a man’s definition of safe sеx?
Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.

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Men jokes | Sex Jokes

Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !"
Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."

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Men-Women jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Men jokes

Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective stupidity was the lack of access to information?
Well ... it wasn't that

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Childhood is when you go to the toilet in the night and then you run back and jump in your bed, glad that the monster under the bed didn’t get you.
Adulthood is when the monster lies in the bed next to you.

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

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School jokes, Teacher Jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes | One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Dad Jokes

Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sеx with them.
One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!"
The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"

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Religion jokes | God | Dirty jokes | Sex Jokes | Communication Jokes

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first bl*wjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Men jokes | Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes | Sex Jokes | Gay Jokes, Lesbian Jokes | Walks into a Bar, Bar jokes, Bartender jokes

My love, If you're smiling, send me your smiles.
If you're sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you're crying send me your tears.
I LOVE YOU

..reply.. .

I'm on the toilet, What should I send you?

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Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.

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Food Jokes | Facebook Jokes | History Jokes